Near the end of his life, and after his great journey to the Promised Land was complete, Lehi gathered his children. As part of his sermon, he said: “I know in whom I have trusted. My God hath been my support; he hath led me through mine afflictions in the wilderness; and he hath preserved me upon the waters of the great deep” (2 Nephi 4:19-20).
I was reminded strongly of that statement recently, as my own journey that will hopefully culminate with a spot in the Promised Land, hit a stumbling block that made my knees buckle. But through some things that have happened these last few weeks, I can say, as did Lehi: “I know in whom I have trusted. My God hath been my support (2 Nephi 4:19-20).
If you don’t mind, it’s a little personal, but I’d like to share it with you because I think it has a universal application. My life is almost always pretty good. But, occasionally, something will happen that really shakes up my soul, and my life will feel like it’s collapsing. I had such a Day of Despair recently. After suffering by myself for a little while, I knew there was only one way out; I was going to have to have a blessing. And I was going to have to ask for one—which is always hard for me to do.
So I called up Jeremy Schudde, and I asked him to come over to give me a blessing. And he did. And it worked, like blessings always do. One of the things he said in that blessing was, “Some day, this day will look faraway.”
That line particularly hit me. And it became even more meaningful last Sunday during our Priesthood/Relief Society combined meeting when we were watching President Hinckley’s speech. My first year I was at BYU, I took a Teachings of the Living Prophets class, and, in that class, we studied a packet of President Hinckley’s talks. And in that packet was a speech similar to the one we heard last Sunday. And so I knew that he was going to tell a certain story—and even before I heard him say it, the Spirit was telling me what the message was for me.
First, I’ll give the story, and then I’ll share with you the message:
“A group in Cedar City were talking about [Ellen Pucell Unthank] and others who were in those ill-fated companies. Members of the group spoke critically of the Church and its leaders because the company of converts had been permitted to start so late in the season. I now quote from a manuscript which I have:
“One old man in the corner sat silent and listened as long as he could stand it. Then he arose and said things that no person who heard will ever forget. His face was white with emotion, yet he spoke calmly, deliberately, but with great earnestness and sincerity.
“He said in substance, ‘I ask you to stop this criticism. You are discussing a matter you know nothing about. Cold historic facts mean nothing here for they give no proper interpretation of the questions involved. A mistake to send the handcart company out so late in the season? Yes. But I was in that company and my wife was in it and Sister Nellie Unthank whom you have cited was there too. We suffered beyond anything you can imagine and many died of exposure and starvation, but did you ever hear a survivor of that company utter a word of criticism? Not one of that company ever apostatized or left the Church because every one of us came through with the absolute knowledge that God lives for we became acquainted with him in our extremities.
“‘I have pulled my handcart when I was so weak and weary from illness and lack of food that I could hardly put one foot ahead of the other. I have looked ahead and seen a patch of sand or a hill slope and I have said, I can go only that far and there I must give up, for I cannot pull the load through it.’ ” He continues: “ ‘I have gone on to that sand and when I reached it, the cart began pushing me. I have looked back many times to see who was pushing my cart, but my eyes saw no one. I knew then that the angels of God were there.
“‘Was I sorry that I chose to come by handcart? No. Neither then nor any minute of my life since. The price we paid to become acquainted with God was a privilege to pay, and I am thankful that I was privileged to come in the Martin Handcart Company.’ ” (Relief Society Magazine, Jan. 1948, p. 8.)
Now, for the message I was given to help me:
The first part of it is to liken the experience of the Handcart Pioneers to my situation. Like them, I am on a journey. My intended destination isn’t the Salt Lake Valley, it’s the Celestial Kingdom. Like them, my trek will encounter difficult days. There will, at times, stand before me huge obstacles—such as the one I faced the other week. At such a time, it’s easy to say: This is it. This is as far as I can go.
Such was the attitude of Laman and Lemuel, who wanted to stay in the Land Bountiful—instead of pushing on to the Promised Land. But it wasn’t the attitude of Nephi, who wanted to keep going, until he reached his destination. Like Nephi, my job is to keep pushing forward—to keep walking the strait and narrow, now matter how sharp the incline, no matter how difficult the trail.
But like Brother Webster, I never walk the trail alone. The Savior said: “Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.
“Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.
“For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light” (Matt. 11:28-30).
I have found this past week that, indeed, the Savior has been yoked to me, and he helped get through this trouble and over the rock. In a very real way, He bore my burden and made it light. And, now, it is behind me. Perhaps the message I most needed to hear that day was the same that Jeremy gave me in the blessing: “One day, this day will seem so far away.” The stumbling block I faced that day would one day be behind me—never to be encountered again. The Martin Handcart Company didn’t return every winter and say, “Let’s do it again.” Once it was behind them, it was behind them. The stumbling block of today will one day be just a rock in the path of yesteryear—a distant memory I faced and overcame long ago. Those rocks the pioneers pulled their humble handcarts over where one day hundreds of miles behind them—out of sight, never to be seen by them again. A mere pebble I faced and overcame. Perhaps I will have similar trials in the future. But those rocks will not be nearly as difficult because I now know how to manage the course. One day, should I see my journey through and arrive at the Celestial Kingdom, it will not matter how difficult my journey was—what will matter is that I’m there. That I arrived where I wanted to be.
I’ve been thinking about that experience this week as I prepared this lesson, and I’ve seen some similarities between that experience and the stories of Hezekiah and Josiah.
When I asked Jeremy for a blessing, I was asking him to do what a priesthood leader does: Act in the name of the father. And in so doing, act as a conduit between me and my Heavenly Father.
As he stood between my Heavenly Father and me, I know that my Heavenly Father was providing, through one of his priesthood holders, living water for my soul. I thought of that as I studied Hezekiah’s conduit. I am certain that the words I heard in that blessing weren’t Jeremy’s; they were Christ’s. And I’m certain the message I heard on Sunday was a message not from President Hinckley or Bishop Shepherd but a message from God to me. I was also reminded that Hezekiah once stood and urged the priests to “be not now negligent: for the LORD hath chosen you to stand before him, to serve him” (2 Chronicles 29:11). On that day, when I needed a blessing, Jeremy wasn’t negligent in his call as a priesthood holder and he stood between God and me. How grateful I am that he was ready when I needed him to be.
In realizing how my prayers were answered, I thought of what the Lord had said to Josiah: “Because thine heart was
tender, and thou didst humble thyself before God, when thou heardest his words against this place, and against the inhabitants thereof, and humbledst thyself before me, and didst rend thy clothes, and weep before me; I have even heard thee also, saith the LORD.” I know God heard my prayers. It was tough for me to swallow my pride and call and ask for a blessing. But I knew I needed that added strength, and I knew I needed a blessing. So I humbled myself. I prayed that God would bless me with the comfort I needed to get through this time. How grateful I am to have a Heavenly Father who listens to his children’s prayers.
Another thing I thought of as I reflected back on this was what had been said of Josiah: “And he did that which was right in the sight of the LORD, and walked in all the way of David his father, and turned not aside to the right hand or to the left.” And I had that verse on my heart this week, when I just happened to stumble across this verse in Alma: “[Christ] cannot walk in crooked paths; neither doth he vary from that which he hath said; neither hath he a shadow of turning from the right to the left, or from that which is right to that which is wrong” (Alma 7:20).
As I thought about how Josiah prospered because he turned not aside to the right or the left as he walked the strait-and-narrow; or, in other words, he was so focused on walking God’s path that he didn’t consider other paths, and as I thought about our Savior, how in his life, he walked the path so perfectly that even his shadow fell in perfectly with path. I made a realization. I had, in some ways, brought this trial upon me. Because I had been walking that path, but I had been walking while looking off to the side. I wasn’t focused on what I should’ve been focused. I was looking, somewhat enviously, at other things. And that had caused me some problems.
One of the things Jeremy said—or I should say, the Lord said, in that blessing was “Remember that it’s much easier to be happy than it is to be sad.” I agree with that wholeheartedly. By veering my eyes off the path, I allowed myself to start thinking about things that were wrong in my life; not what was right. Satan has a way of just getting into your brain and building a case for why you should be despondent and why you should be in despair. Satan loves to have worry weigh us down. He loves to manufacture fears in each of us; unease in each of us. Satan loves to prey on the small things we dislike about ourselves or our lives and turn those little molehill problems in mountains. Satan has to work overtime to make such arguments because each of us has a million things to be happy about. Sadness almost always is engineered, but happiness is almost always available. It’s just a matter of perspective. Life is to be enjoyed. Not only should you cont your blessings; you should enjoy your blessings. This is the time to smell the roses. To enjoy hanging out with good friends and just enjoying the life that is ours here in America. Of course, that enjoyment should never come at the expense of the commandments or our responsibilities, but there is plenty we can do to enjoy life right here, right now. And our God wants us to be happy.
That falls in with the major message I got from this blessing: Be still and know that I am God. God’s on my side; things will work out; they always do. It was as if the Lord was saying to me what Hezekiah once said to his armies: “Be strong and courageous, be not afraid nor dismayed …: for there be more with us than with him” (2 Chronicles 32:7). The important get me through this time was that I be not like the Israelites who “turned away their faces from the habitation of the LORD, and turned their backs” (2 Chronicles 29:6), but that I do, as Hezekiah once instructed his people to do: To yield myself unto God.
I know the time will come when my life will have run its course and my journey will be few. And the trial of these past weeks, if remembered at all, will be just a long-past rock. But I hope no matter that no matter what happens to me in my life that I can come to the end of it, as Lehi did, as say as he did: “I know in whom I have trusted. My God hath been my support” (2 Nephi 4:19-20). I know that if I can say such a thing, then I will have done the things that ensure that my destination will be where I want my destination to be: In the Kingdom of My Father.
Friday, January 26, 2007
How Could You?
There was a time when the Nephite nation stood on the brink of destruction. The Lamanites, the hatred for the Nephites fueled by Nephite dissenters, began waging war, and the Lamanites kept winning battle after battle after battle. The destruction of the Nephite nation seemed imminent, and the genocide these bloodthirsty dissenters wanted was surely at hand. The Nephites were weak, and they were outnumbered. They didn’t keep the Lord’s commandments, so they didn’t have His protection as they had had in the days of Captain Moroni. Their cities kept falling to the Lamanites. They were so weak thbat their best strategy was to retreat and keep hoping that the “next time” would be the battle that changed the war. “Next time” never came, and the Nephites’ situation was becoming more and more perilous.
The Nephites were fortunate, however, for there were two among them who went forth and defeated the Lamanites and rescued the Nephites from imminent destruction. These two were Nephi, the son of Helaman, and his brother, Lehi. Nephi and Lehi marched toward the Lamanite Armies, armed, not with swords or spears, but with the word of God and the Spirit of the Lord. These two missionaries were all that stood between the Nephites and destruction. And where the Nephite Armies had failed, God’s Army of Two succeeded. Nephi and Lehi first converted the dissenters, whose hatred had started the war in the first place. They began converting the Lamanite soldiers. Nephi and Lehi were thrown into prison, but a miraculous event in prison convinced 300 of the Lamanites of the reality of Jesus Christ. And these 300 soldiers went from the Lamanite Army straight into God’s and soon converted the majority of the Lamanite warriors. The result? The Lamanites folded up their tents and returned home. The Nephites were spared! In Alma 31:5, we read: “And now, as the preaching of the word had a great tendency to lead the people to do that which was just—yea, it had had more powerful effect upon the minds of the people than the sword, or anything else, which had happened unto them.” Truly, that was borne out here. The Nephites had been spared not by their swords but by the word of God.
Nephi and Lehi stand as some of the greatest missionaries in all of the scriptures. After that, Nephi spent the next five or so years of his life, continuing his missionary work. Then he headed home to his beloved Zarahemla.
I wonder what Nephi expected to find in Zarahemla. I wonder how he imagined what life in Zarahemla would be like. Every missionary seems to give home an exalted status and remembers it to be much better than it really was. When you’re out on a mission, your hometown gets built up in your mind as a Shangri-La. I think the movie, The RM, dramatizes so well how a missionary visualizes his return home to be so perfect, and how divorced from reality that view of home can be. You start thinking of home as a place where no one does anything wrong, everyone likes you, and every girl wants to date you. I don’t think Nephi was focused on whether he’d have lots of friends and whether the ladies would like him. But I think Nephi expected that the people in his hometown would be keeping the commandments. Here, were his friends—the ones who had been spared by the preaching of the word of God. Surely, they would be grateful that the Lord had spared them. Surely, they would recognize what a great thing the Lord had done for them. And, surely, in knowing all this, the people of Zarahemla would be walking humbly in God’s paths. Certainly, the people of Zarahemla couldn’t forget the miracle by which they were spared.
And just like the missionary in The R.M., Nephi was disappointed by what he found when he returned home.
Wickedness had overrun the city. The corrupt Gadianton Robbers ran the government. The innocent were being condemned. The guilty were being let free. The people were living not serve God, but to “get gain and glory of the world, and, moreover, that they might the more easily commit adultery, and steal, and kill, and do according to their own wills” (Helaman 7:5).
This wasn’t the Zarahemla Nephi remembered. This wasn’t the Zarahemla Nephi hoped to come home to. This was not his Shangri-La. You can feel the heartbreak and sadness that comes to Nephi as he witnesses this. Of this, we read, “when Nephi saw it, his heart was swollen with sorrow” (Helaman 7:6).
What Nephi does next speaks to the greatness of him as a man and as a missionary, and why we remember him as a great prophet and one of the greatest missionaries of all time. When he returned home from years of hard missionary labor, he didn’t quit being a missionary. He saw the people needed the word of God, so he preached it to them.
From a tower in his own garden, he preaches to the passersby. The most significant part of that sermon on the tower, for me, is the question he asks these people, the very people who had been spared by the preaching of the word of God. Nephi asks them: “O, how could you have forgotten your God in the very day that he has delivered you?” (Helaman 7:20).
Now, you know how the Lord had delivered them. You know they were only alive by the grace of God. So don’t you also wonder: How these people could have forgotten God after what He had done for them? If you were Nephi, wouldn’t you also want to ask them: How could you? How could you forget your Lord?
There is someone I’d like to ask this question to. And that’s King Solomon. If I ever met him, I would like to ask him: How could you have forgotten your God after all he did for you? How could you have forsaken him and turned to your idols? Before he granted your wish for wisdom, you said this about yourself: “I am but a little child: I know not how to go out or come in” (1 Kings 3:7). He made you wise. Your wisdom became legendary. When God made you wise, He said: “Behold, I have done according to thy words: lo, I have given thee a wise and an understanding heart; so that there was none like thee before thee, neither after thee shall any arise like unto thee” (1 Kings 3:12). Thousands of years later, people still remember how wise you were. But then you turned your back on God. You began to worship idols. You began to use your riches, not bless others, but to live lavishly. Your life quit being about serving others, and became self-serving instead. How could you, Solomon? How could you have forgotten that God who gave you your wisdom and your riches and your fame? How could you have been so foolish?
In 2 Nephi 7:11, we read: “Behold all ye that kindle fire, that compass yourselves about with sparks, walk in the light of your fire and in the sparks which ye have kindled. This shall ye have of mine hand—ye shall lie down in sorrow.”
What caused Solomon to fall is the same thing that causes others to fall—he just forgot what the Lord had done for him. He quit walking in the Light of Christ and chose instead to walk in the sparks that he created. When he had walked in the Light of the Lord, he was wise. But when he walked in his self-made sparks, he was foolish.
Now, Solomon was as wise a man as there has ever been, and if he’s not bright enough to light his path, are any of us? No, we are not. That is why we need Christ to light the way for us. Look at it this way. Say, you get a call one night that tells you that if you get to Salt Lake by 6 p.m. the following day, you’ll get a million dollars. You have two choices: You can travel by night. But your car doesn’t have headlights. But you do have a pack of sparklers left over from the Fourth of July that you can use to light the way. Or, you could wait until the sun comes up and travel in the Light of the Day. Which option will actually get you to where you want to go? Traveling in the Light of the Day will get you there. Traveling 300 miles by the Light of Sparklers will surely end in tragedy. The same is true of your lives. You came here to Earth with a destination in mind. Walk in your own sparks, and you will crash and stumble and not go anywhere that matters. But walk in the Light of Christ, and you will reach your destination.
The story of the Jaredites’ journey to the America tells just how important it is to be guided by that Light. Jared and his brother were at the Tower of Babel when the Lord started confounding languages. It was then that the Brother of Jared began praying fervently that he, his family and his friends would not have their language confounded. Not only were those prayers are answered, but the Lord gave the Brother of Jared an additional promise: “I will go before thee into a land which is choice above all the lands of the earth.
“And there will I bless thee and thy seed, and raise up unto me of thy seed, and of the seed of thy brother, and they who shall go with thee, a great nation. And there shall be none greater than the nation which I will raise up unto me of thy seed, upon all the face of the earth. And thus I will do unto thee because this long time ye have cried unto me” (Ether 1:42-43).
Let me re-read that last line: “And thus I will do unto thee because this long time ye have cried unto me” (Ether 1:43). Because of his dutiful praying, the Brother of Jared’s prayers were answered on this most critical occasion. You would think that the Brother of Jared, having been so blessed because of this habit, would keep praying. But he didn’t. For four years, the Jaredites didn’t cross the sea because the Brother of Jared forgot to pray to the Lord.
This is really another “How could you?” story because I wonder just what he was thinking? How could he have forgotten God after he had been so miraculously blessed? Well, I won’t be asking that question to the Brother of Jared because, one, he’s a much, much better man than I am, and, two, the Lord kinda already did ask him that question.
As we read in Ether 2:14: “And it came to pass at the end of four years that the Lord came again unto the brother of Jared, and stood in a cloud and talked with him. And for the space of three hours did the Lord talk with the brother of Jared, and chastened him because he remembered not to call upon the name of the Lord.” Personally, I wouldn’t have wanted to be on the receiving end of that chastisement. Think about it, the Brother of Jared had been spared because of his prayers—during which time he was walking in the Light of Christ and being blessed for it. But then he wastes four years of his life because he forgot to pray and instead walked in the sparks of his own understanding.
Now, the Brother of Jared is faced with the task of building the barges to cross the sea. He follows the Lord’s direction. But there’s a problem: There’s no light. I think it’s an interesting problem to be faced by a man whose journey had been set back because he walked in his own sparks. And now, what is his solution when he wants to travel by light? He asks the Light of the World, Jesus Christ, to touch his finger to the sixteen white stones. Here, he was asking Christ to light the way for his journey. Really, we all need to do the same. We can have Christ light the path for us or we can walk in our own sparks. Again, with the Son of God lighting the way, we will reach our journey’s end. But if we don’t, we will end up elsewhere. Having Christ light our way is simple—we do the small things: come to church, read our scriptures, praying, following promptings from the Spirit and keeping the commandments. Do these things, and you’ll find the Light.
To me, that is the gospel. The chance to redefine who we are through repentance. A woman, who was well-known as a sinner, once came into the house of a Pharisee where Jesus was at. She then bathed his feet with her tears. The Pharisee wondered why Jesus would let such this filthy sinner touch his feet. But Jesus knew who she was. He knew she as no longer a sinner, and she was no longer filthy. Rather, she was a woman of Christ, a disciple. She had applied Christ’s blood to her soul. And she had let it change who she was. She had been redefined. Her past would no longer hold her tomorrow hostage. She could once again progress and become what she set out to be when she came to this Earth.
To each of us, Christ gives that opportunity. To remove, bit-by-bit, the unholy parts of ourselves, scrubbed clean by the Savior’s blood. And, as we take away the ungodly parts of ourselves and replace them with Christ-like attributes, we become more and more like our Savior—and, one day, we are as He is.
I look back at some reasons in my younger years for which I felt tempted to miss church—and, in careful reflection, I realize at just how idiotic they were. Two of those reasons were that church seemed too boring and I didn’t get anything out of it. I’d like to refute that by using something Wade Vest once told me about how Henry B. Eyring said to his dad that a particular lesson he’d heard that day in church was boring. And Elder Eyring’s father responded by disagreeing, and by saying, “Whenever I’m in a lesson, I try to think about how I would teach it.” I think that’s an important idea. I think if we come to church and listen to the lessons and think about how the topic applies to us, and how we have seen that principle played out in our lives, and if we think about how we could apply that principle to our lives. And if we get involved and make comments and start sharing insights, then church becomes interesting and we do learn important truths. Most of all, the best reason to come to Church is to feel the Spirit—when the Spirit is there, it will tell you all things, and it will deliver a personal message to you. Certainly, inviting the Spirit is the primary responsibility of the teacher, but it is also the responsibility of the students, who can invite the Spirit through insights and testimonies; and who shouldn’t chase the Spirit away through their irreverence.
Also, I can’t believe I ever thought going to Sacrament Meeting wasn’t worth the bother. As if renewing my covenants with the Savior wasn’t worth getting dressed up for. Hmmm. He gave His life for me, suffered all things for me, but I’d really rather stay home and watch the game? Wow. What was I thinking? The sacrament is an opportunity to remember that sacrifice, and if we’re not here to renew that covenant, then how can we remember Him always? The sacrament is our chance to show our gratitude to our Savior for what He did for us. It’s to remind us just how much we need Him.
I’m really glad I have the church because, honestly, I don’t know where I would be without the gospel, and I never want to put distance between me and Christ ever again.
Let me end by saying this: If you walk in the Light of the Gospel, you will never have anyone come up to you and say, “How could you have done what you did?” because if you walk in the Light of the Gospel, then your actions will be honorable. And your choices will reflect the gratitude you have for the blessings you have received. And your life will reflect that of the Master’s in whose Light you walk.
The Nephites were fortunate, however, for there were two among them who went forth and defeated the Lamanites and rescued the Nephites from imminent destruction. These two were Nephi, the son of Helaman, and his brother, Lehi. Nephi and Lehi marched toward the Lamanite Armies, armed, not with swords or spears, but with the word of God and the Spirit of the Lord. These two missionaries were all that stood between the Nephites and destruction. And where the Nephite Armies had failed, God’s Army of Two succeeded. Nephi and Lehi first converted the dissenters, whose hatred had started the war in the first place. They began converting the Lamanite soldiers. Nephi and Lehi were thrown into prison, but a miraculous event in prison convinced 300 of the Lamanites of the reality of Jesus Christ. And these 300 soldiers went from the Lamanite Army straight into God’s and soon converted the majority of the Lamanite warriors. The result? The Lamanites folded up their tents and returned home. The Nephites were spared! In Alma 31:5, we read: “And now, as the preaching of the word had a great tendency to lead the people to do that which was just—yea, it had had more powerful effect upon the minds of the people than the sword, or anything else, which had happened unto them.” Truly, that was borne out here. The Nephites had been spared not by their swords but by the word of God.
Nephi and Lehi stand as some of the greatest missionaries in all of the scriptures. After that, Nephi spent the next five or so years of his life, continuing his missionary work. Then he headed home to his beloved Zarahemla.
I wonder what Nephi expected to find in Zarahemla. I wonder how he imagined what life in Zarahemla would be like. Every missionary seems to give home an exalted status and remembers it to be much better than it really was. When you’re out on a mission, your hometown gets built up in your mind as a Shangri-La. I think the movie, The RM, dramatizes so well how a missionary visualizes his return home to be so perfect, and how divorced from reality that view of home can be. You start thinking of home as a place where no one does anything wrong, everyone likes you, and every girl wants to date you. I don’t think Nephi was focused on whether he’d have lots of friends and whether the ladies would like him. But I think Nephi expected that the people in his hometown would be keeping the commandments. Here, were his friends—the ones who had been spared by the preaching of the word of God. Surely, they would be grateful that the Lord had spared them. Surely, they would recognize what a great thing the Lord had done for them. And, surely, in knowing all this, the people of Zarahemla would be walking humbly in God’s paths. Certainly, the people of Zarahemla couldn’t forget the miracle by which they were spared.
And just like the missionary in The R.M., Nephi was disappointed by what he found when he returned home.
Wickedness had overrun the city. The corrupt Gadianton Robbers ran the government. The innocent were being condemned. The guilty were being let free. The people were living not serve God, but to “get gain and glory of the world, and, moreover, that they might the more easily commit adultery, and steal, and kill, and do according to their own wills” (Helaman 7:5).
This wasn’t the Zarahemla Nephi remembered. This wasn’t the Zarahemla Nephi hoped to come home to. This was not his Shangri-La. You can feel the heartbreak and sadness that comes to Nephi as he witnesses this. Of this, we read, “when Nephi saw it, his heart was swollen with sorrow” (Helaman 7:6).
What Nephi does next speaks to the greatness of him as a man and as a missionary, and why we remember him as a great prophet and one of the greatest missionaries of all time. When he returned home from years of hard missionary labor, he didn’t quit being a missionary. He saw the people needed the word of God, so he preached it to them.
From a tower in his own garden, he preaches to the passersby. The most significant part of that sermon on the tower, for me, is the question he asks these people, the very people who had been spared by the preaching of the word of God. Nephi asks them: “O, how could you have forgotten your God in the very day that he has delivered you?” (Helaman 7:20).
Now, you know how the Lord had delivered them. You know they were only alive by the grace of God. So don’t you also wonder: How these people could have forgotten God after what He had done for them? If you were Nephi, wouldn’t you also want to ask them: How could you? How could you forget your Lord?
There is someone I’d like to ask this question to. And that’s King Solomon. If I ever met him, I would like to ask him: How could you have forgotten your God after all he did for you? How could you have forsaken him and turned to your idols? Before he granted your wish for wisdom, you said this about yourself: “I am but a little child: I know not how to go out or come in” (1 Kings 3:7). He made you wise. Your wisdom became legendary. When God made you wise, He said: “Behold, I have done according to thy words: lo, I have given thee a wise and an understanding heart; so that there was none like thee before thee, neither after thee shall any arise like unto thee” (1 Kings 3:12). Thousands of years later, people still remember how wise you were. But then you turned your back on God. You began to worship idols. You began to use your riches, not bless others, but to live lavishly. Your life quit being about serving others, and became self-serving instead. How could you, Solomon? How could you have forgotten that God who gave you your wisdom and your riches and your fame? How could you have been so foolish?
In 2 Nephi 7:11, we read: “Behold all ye that kindle fire, that compass yourselves about with sparks, walk in the light of your fire and in the sparks which ye have kindled. This shall ye have of mine hand—ye shall lie down in sorrow.”
What caused Solomon to fall is the same thing that causes others to fall—he just forgot what the Lord had done for him. He quit walking in the Light of Christ and chose instead to walk in the sparks that he created. When he had walked in the Light of the Lord, he was wise. But when he walked in his self-made sparks, he was foolish.
Now, Solomon was as wise a man as there has ever been, and if he’s not bright enough to light his path, are any of us? No, we are not. That is why we need Christ to light the way for us. Look at it this way. Say, you get a call one night that tells you that if you get to Salt Lake by 6 p.m. the following day, you’ll get a million dollars. You have two choices: You can travel by night. But your car doesn’t have headlights. But you do have a pack of sparklers left over from the Fourth of July that you can use to light the way. Or, you could wait until the sun comes up and travel in the Light of the Day. Which option will actually get you to where you want to go? Traveling in the Light of the Day will get you there. Traveling 300 miles by the Light of Sparklers will surely end in tragedy. The same is true of your lives. You came here to Earth with a destination in mind. Walk in your own sparks, and you will crash and stumble and not go anywhere that matters. But walk in the Light of Christ, and you will reach your destination.
The story of the Jaredites’ journey to the America tells just how important it is to be guided by that Light. Jared and his brother were at the Tower of Babel when the Lord started confounding languages. It was then that the Brother of Jared began praying fervently that he, his family and his friends would not have their language confounded. Not only were those prayers are answered, but the Lord gave the Brother of Jared an additional promise: “I will go before thee into a land which is choice above all the lands of the earth.
“And there will I bless thee and thy seed, and raise up unto me of thy seed, and of the seed of thy brother, and they who shall go with thee, a great nation. And there shall be none greater than the nation which I will raise up unto me of thy seed, upon all the face of the earth. And thus I will do unto thee because this long time ye have cried unto me” (Ether 1:42-43).
Let me re-read that last line: “And thus I will do unto thee because this long time ye have cried unto me” (Ether 1:43). Because of his dutiful praying, the Brother of Jared’s prayers were answered on this most critical occasion. You would think that the Brother of Jared, having been so blessed because of this habit, would keep praying. But he didn’t. For four years, the Jaredites didn’t cross the sea because the Brother of Jared forgot to pray to the Lord.
This is really another “How could you?” story because I wonder just what he was thinking? How could he have forgotten God after he had been so miraculously blessed? Well, I won’t be asking that question to the Brother of Jared because, one, he’s a much, much better man than I am, and, two, the Lord kinda already did ask him that question.
As we read in Ether 2:14: “And it came to pass at the end of four years that the Lord came again unto the brother of Jared, and stood in a cloud and talked with him. And for the space of three hours did the Lord talk with the brother of Jared, and chastened him because he remembered not to call upon the name of the Lord.” Personally, I wouldn’t have wanted to be on the receiving end of that chastisement. Think about it, the Brother of Jared had been spared because of his prayers—during which time he was walking in the Light of Christ and being blessed for it. But then he wastes four years of his life because he forgot to pray and instead walked in the sparks of his own understanding.
Now, the Brother of Jared is faced with the task of building the barges to cross the sea. He follows the Lord’s direction. But there’s a problem: There’s no light. I think it’s an interesting problem to be faced by a man whose journey had been set back because he walked in his own sparks. And now, what is his solution when he wants to travel by light? He asks the Light of the World, Jesus Christ, to touch his finger to the sixteen white stones. Here, he was asking Christ to light the way for his journey. Really, we all need to do the same. We can have Christ light the path for us or we can walk in our own sparks. Again, with the Son of God lighting the way, we will reach our journey’s end. But if we don’t, we will end up elsewhere. Having Christ light our way is simple—we do the small things: come to church, read our scriptures, praying, following promptings from the Spirit and keeping the commandments. Do these things, and you’ll find the Light.
To me, that is the gospel. The chance to redefine who we are through repentance. A woman, who was well-known as a sinner, once came into the house of a Pharisee where Jesus was at. She then bathed his feet with her tears. The Pharisee wondered why Jesus would let such this filthy sinner touch his feet. But Jesus knew who she was. He knew she as no longer a sinner, and she was no longer filthy. Rather, she was a woman of Christ, a disciple. She had applied Christ’s blood to her soul. And she had let it change who she was. She had been redefined. Her past would no longer hold her tomorrow hostage. She could once again progress and become what she set out to be when she came to this Earth.
To each of us, Christ gives that opportunity. To remove, bit-by-bit, the unholy parts of ourselves, scrubbed clean by the Savior’s blood. And, as we take away the ungodly parts of ourselves and replace them with Christ-like attributes, we become more and more like our Savior—and, one day, we are as He is.
I look back at some reasons in my younger years for which I felt tempted to miss church—and, in careful reflection, I realize at just how idiotic they were. Two of those reasons were that church seemed too boring and I didn’t get anything out of it. I’d like to refute that by using something Wade Vest once told me about how Henry B. Eyring said to his dad that a particular lesson he’d heard that day in church was boring. And Elder Eyring’s father responded by disagreeing, and by saying, “Whenever I’m in a lesson, I try to think about how I would teach it.” I think that’s an important idea. I think if we come to church and listen to the lessons and think about how the topic applies to us, and how we have seen that principle played out in our lives, and if we think about how we could apply that principle to our lives. And if we get involved and make comments and start sharing insights, then church becomes interesting and we do learn important truths. Most of all, the best reason to come to Church is to feel the Spirit—when the Spirit is there, it will tell you all things, and it will deliver a personal message to you. Certainly, inviting the Spirit is the primary responsibility of the teacher, but it is also the responsibility of the students, who can invite the Spirit through insights and testimonies; and who shouldn’t chase the Spirit away through their irreverence.
Also, I can’t believe I ever thought going to Sacrament Meeting wasn’t worth the bother. As if renewing my covenants with the Savior wasn’t worth getting dressed up for. Hmmm. He gave His life for me, suffered all things for me, but I’d really rather stay home and watch the game? Wow. What was I thinking? The sacrament is an opportunity to remember that sacrifice, and if we’re not here to renew that covenant, then how can we remember Him always? The sacrament is our chance to show our gratitude to our Savior for what He did for us. It’s to remind us just how much we need Him.
I’m really glad I have the church because, honestly, I don’t know where I would be without the gospel, and I never want to put distance between me and Christ ever again.
Let me end by saying this: If you walk in the Light of the Gospel, you will never have anyone come up to you and say, “How could you have done what you did?” because if you walk in the Light of the Gospel, then your actions will be honorable. And your choices will reflect the gratitude you have for the blessings you have received. And your life will reflect that of the Master’s in whose Light you walk.
The Toothbrush Saga
THE TOOTHBRUSH DEMONSTRATION: This was a demonstration in which you place a large glop of toothpaste—like, a whole toothbrush’s worht—on a toothbrush and ask a volunteer if he or she brushed with that much toothpaste when would he or she need to brush again?
In preparing for this demonstration, I went to Ask.com, and I typed in, “Why should I brush my teeth?” In looking at the pages Ask.com recommended, I saw a lot of horrifying smiles. It reminded me of my mission to England. I remember one of the elders in my mission was showing me his mission journal. In it, he had a picture of a woman’s mouth, and, underneath it, he had written, “The first British woman I met who had all her teeth.” Obviously, that’s an exaggeration. But I’ll admit I saw some fairly scary mouths in my two years there—mostly among the older generation. Some of them never learned the value of using a toothbrush daily. And it’s too late. They can no longer brush their teeth; they can only brush their tooth.
Anyhow, two years of serving in Britain can convert anyone to the virtues of using a toothbrush at least twice daily. I got even more convinced when Ask.com, directed me to this piece of information:
“Tiny bacteria live in your mouth and can stick to your teeth to make plaque. Plaque is colourless and sticky and if it hardens it becomes tartar. The bacteria use the sugar in the food that you eat. They release waste products including acid, which destroys the enamel on your teeth. You get [a] toothache when the enamel on your teeth has holes in it and the acid gets in to the tooth nerves inside your tooth. Brushing your teeth scrubs away the food and sugar so the bacteria has no sugar to make into acid.” (Suzy.co.nz).
I don’t know about you, but I’m not particularly thrilled about bacteria and its waste products living in my mouth. So … I don’t think I’ll be waiting until next Sunday to brush my teeth.
Obviously, I didn’t stand up here today to persuade to brush your teeth. Hopefully, you’re already doing that. If you’re not, well, you might be in the singles ward for quite some time. My purpose in this demonstration and in this lesson today is to get you take care of your soul—not just on Sunday, but throughout the week. Coming to church is critical. In some ways, it is like going to dentist but without the pain.
When you leave a dentist’s office, you have an expectation that your teeth will have been cleaned, any problems in your mouth will have be detected and solved and your dentist will have hopefully given you some advice. Likewise, when you walk through those glass doors today, hopefully some things will have happened. Hopefully, you will have had your soul cleansed by partaking of the sacrament. Hopefully, you will have felt the Spirit and your testimony will have been deepened and your knowledge that God loves you and is aware of you will be strengthened. Hopefully, your resolve to walk God’s paths will also have been strengthened. When you walk through those doors, if all goes right, you will walk out of here with your soul renewed, a better person than you were three hours ago and committed to living a life that follows the course of our Savior’s. Personally, when I have had to miss church for work or some other reason, I have always felt cheated. I’ve always felt like I missed out on that little boost I need to get through the week. I need these three hours to recharge my spirit and give me the strength I need to take on the battles of the upcoming week. I have learned from the experiences of my life that, without this three-hour recharge, I am not strong enough to meet life’s challenges. I have also learned the messages and insights you receive here are only as valuable as how you treat them. If you hear a message you know is for you, and you don’t apply it into your life, then, you have essentially said, “That message is of no value to me.” Said President Benson: “The great task of life is to learn the will of the Lord and then do it.”
On that point, let me relate this story, told by Elder Merlin R. Lybbert:
“An enterprising turkey gathered the flock together and, following instructions and demonstrations, taught them how to fly. All afternoon they enjoyed soaring and flying and the thrill of seeing new vistas. After the meeting, all of the turkeys walked home.”
“It is not our understanding of the principles of the gospel that brings the blessings of heaven, but the living of them.”
At church, you’ll learn the lessons on how to be like God. You’ll learn a path here that’s better than anything any philosopher has ever thought. You’ll learn how to be as He is. So why walk out of here and act like the world? Why act like those whose paths lead never to happiness, but always to sorrow?
Church is valuable, but even all the good feelings and all the Light you receive here at the Church cannot be enough to get you through the week. Just like bacteria collect on your teeth throughout the course of your day, grime also creeps onto your soul. Much of the grime comes from just existing—each person will encounter some scenario during the day that can drive away the Spirit. Perhaps, at work, you help one surly customer after another. Perhaps, at school, you might have to hear some disparaging remarks about the church. But nothing can chase away the Spirit than the frustrations of sharing the road with St. George drivers. Someone once said, “You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.” Other times, we bring into our lives the things that bring grime onto our souls—whether it’s our music or our movies or hanging out with someone who brings us down. The point is, that each of us will, just as a result of going through life, have experiences that dim the Light we received on Sunday and can weaken our resolve to walk God’s paths. So how do we renew that Light and strengthen that resolve during the week? Perhaps the simplest and surest way is to read the scriptures.
Reading the scriptures brings back into our lives the Light we lost through the inconvenience of living in the world. It will strengthen our resolve to walk God’s paths. Obviously, the grime we get on our souls can only be washed away through the Atonement. But scripture reading reminds us of the Atonement—and those reminders help us bring the Atonement more fully into our lives. The scriptures also bring to our attention what changes we need to make in our lives.
In short, if we neglect our scripture reading, it’s like neglecting to brush our teeth. When one forgets to brush their teeth, the corrosive effects of that bacteria buildup will cause cavities and, eventually, the loss of teeth. When one forgets to read the scriptures during the week, more hazardous outcomes result. The corrosive effects of sin may cause the soul to become damaged and, eventually, lost.
For that reason, it’s important you give Christ more than three hours a week. Can I say that again: It’s important you give Christ more than three hours a week? After all, for you, He gave everything He had. It’s important to realize that this life is a struggle between good and evil. If you only give Christ’s side three hours a week and spend the rest of the week dabbling in the things of the world, then whose likely to win the battle for your soul?
Giving thought to the Church only on Sunday doesn’t cut it because Satan uses so many ways to cut you down throughout the week. Just simple things like daily prayers, Institute attendance and scripture study will keep you strong enough to fight off the evil influences around you. Even decisions as to you who you hang out with and where you go may show where your true loyalties lie. If you are standing in holy places, it’s much, much easier for you to keep your hands clean and your heart pure. The strengthening and Spirit you need to get through the week starts at church but does not end at church.
As you go through the week, the longer it will have been since you received that reawakening of the soul here at Church; the more the week goes by, the more you will experience the grime of the world that dirties the soul, and the more you will hear the world’s darkening doctrines that dim the Light you picked up here today. The easiest way to help that Light shine better and to fortify your determination to keep your soul unsullied is to pick up your scriptures. Y’know, I picked on the English earlier, so I think I’d better give the Brits some respect. So, on this point, we’ll turn to a story told by an Englishman, Kenneth Johnson:
“[In 1966], I sold [my] Hillman Minx [car] and upgraded to a 1962 Vauxhall Victor Estate. Shortly after making the transaction, the man who had purchased the Hillman phoned to ask me if I had experienced any difficulty steering the vehicle. I told that I had not but then recalled that I had found the Vauxhall to have far more responsive steering than my Hillman. The new owner agreed to bring the Hillman to my business office so he could demonstrate the difficulty he was having. Once I was seated in the car and had driven it a short distance, I realized how rigid the steering mechanism was. I concluded that during the time I owned the vehicle, the mechanism had deteriorated so gradually that I had not detected the change. I agreed that the steering was defective and ended up taking responsibility for making the needed repairs.
“The experience provided me an interesting lesson. … Just as our bodies require daily nourishment in order to function properly, so do our testimonies need ongoing nourishment. Without regular renewal through prayer, scripture study, partaking of the sacrament, and involvement in Church activity and service, immediate weakening may be so slight as to be imperceptible, but over time we can become bereft and find ourselves spiritually malnourished.”
I’ve learned very well in the last year that what Elder Johnson speaks of is true. The daily regimen of scripture study provides God a chance to talk to us. There have been so many times recently when I have read the Book of Mormon, and I’ve read the verse I needed to read that day.
A year ago, President Hinckley challenged each member to read the Book of Mormon by the end of the year. In the Ensign article where he issued that challenge, President Hinckley concluded with this promise: “Without reservation I promise you that if each of you will observe this simple program, regardless of how many times you previously may have read the Book of Mormon, there will come into your lives and into your homes an added measure of the Spirit of the Lord, a strengthened resolution to walk in obedience to His commandments, and a stronger testimony of the living reality of the Son of God.” That challenge came at a fairly inconvenient time for me. I had a heavy workload at school and a demanding new job. At first, I gave no place to the challenge in my life. But then, I realized it was more than something I should do, it was something I needed to do. I made time in what was already a very full schedule. And I read the Book of Mormon—and some things happened; I had the best semester I ever had in college; I excelled in my new demanding job. Most importantly, the promises President Hinckley made were fulfilled. The Spirit did come more fully into my life. I did find it easier to keep the commandments. And my testimony was really, really strengthened. Then came Spring semester, and I went back to my sporadic reading program. And some things happened: Despite the fact I had an easier schedule, my grades weren’t as good as they were the semester before. I didn’t do as well in my job as I had in the Fall semester. And I found myself not enjoying life as much as I had before. In reflecting on that, I know what variable changed. When I read the Book of Mormon, I was happier and more successful. So I’ve set a personal goal for myself this upcoming semester to read the Book of Mormon again because I know it will make a better student; and, more importantly, a better man.
With that, I want introduce you to a man who loved the scriptures. His name was Josiah. When he was eight years old, he became King of Judah. Succeeding two wicked kings, Josiah remarkably chose to walk in God’s paths.
Of him, we are told: “And he did that which was right in the sight of the LORD, and walked in all the way of David his father, and turned not aside to the right hand or to the left” (1 Kings 22:2). “And like unto him was there no king before him, that turned to the LORD with all his heart, and with all his soul, and with all his might, according to all the law of Moses; neither after him arose there any like him” (1 Kings 23:25). At age 15, he ordered the destruction of the idols in the kingdom and started to restore the temple. While they were cleaning out the temple, “Hilkiah the priest found a book of the law of the LORD given by Moses” (2 Chronicles 34:12). Hilkiah brought the newly-rediscovered scriptures to the young king. As Josiah read them, he began to weep because he realized just how far his people had strayed from the commandments of the Lord.
Now, I want you to think about this for a moment. The kid is 15. He’s a king. I try to imagine what kind of king the 15-year-old-version of myself would make. I don’t think I’d be the kind of king who was agonizing over whether my people were keeping the commandments or not. I think I’d raising taxes and building palaces and not giving two thoughts to the peasants. But here, Josiah was 15 and a king and his greatest concern was the welfare of his people’s souls. In reading the Book, he knew that if his people wanted to live under God’s protection, they had better live God’s commandments. So he said to the priests: “Go, enquire of the LORD for me, and for them that are left in Israel and in Judah, concerning the words of the book that is found: for great is the wrath of the LORD that is poured out upon us, because our fathers have not kept the word of the LORD, to do after all that is written in this book” (2 Chronicles 34:21).
The Lord, in answering the priests’ prayer, addressed Josiah: “And as for the king of Judah, who sent you to enquire of the LORD, so shall ye say unto him, Thus saith the LORD God of Israel concerning the words which thou hast heard;
“Because thine heart was tender, and thou didst humble thyself before God, when thou heardest his words against this place, and against the inhabitants thereof, and humbledst thyself before me, and didst rend thy clothes, and weep before me; I have even heard thee also, saith the LORD.” (1 Chronicles 34:26-27). I love those verses, when the Lord tells Josiah, essentially, because you had a tender heart and were humble, I have heard your prayers; I have seen your tears.
It’s a beautiful thought to know that at those times when the elements of life beat upon us and reduce us to tears, God really does hear our prayers and count our tears and He stands there ready and willing to help us.
I know that many times in my life, when I have prayed through the tears, that God has heard and God has answered and God has helped.
What Josiah does next is remarkable, and it reiterates his love for and devotion to the Lord. He gathers his people together and reads to them the scriptures—a meeting that lasted for eight hours. He did this because he knew the people could not follow God’s commandments, if they did not know them. Said President Spencer W. Kimball: “I feel strongly that we must all of us return to the scriptures just as King Josiah did and let them work mightily within us, impelling us to an unwavering determination to serve the Lord. Josiah had the law of Moses only. In our scriptures we have the gospel of Jesus Christ in its fulness; and if a taste is sweet, in fulness there is joy.”
This happened in 625 B.C. in Jerusalem. So the timeline is such that it’s possible that in Josiah’s audience listening that day was a young man named Lehi. While history tells us that the people Jerusalem didn’t follow God’s commandments as they should have and eventually paid the price, the Book of Mormon record also lets us know that Lehi did value the scriptures and did keep the commandments. And to him and his seed was given a great Land of Promise.
Lehi’s son Nephi taught us a valuable lesson on just how important the scriptures are to us in journey through life. You know the story about how he and his brothers returned to get the brass plates and how Laban was delivered into Nephi’s hands and how Nephi was commanded to kill Laban. Understandably, valiant Nephi, for once, hesitates to follow this commandment. So then comes the reasoning given to him by the Spirit with which you are all familiar: “It is better that one man should perish than that a nation should dwindle and perish in unbelief” (2 Nephi 4:13). Even with that assurance, Nephi still needs to think about it. I want to read you the verses where Nephi makes his decision. As I do, I want you to listen to the value he realizes are found in the scriptures:
“And now, when I, Nephi, had heard these words, I remembered the words of the Lord which he spake unto me in the wilderness, saying that: Inasmuch as thy seed shall keep my commandments, they shall prosper in the land of promise.
“Yea, and I also thought that they could not keep the commandments of the Lord according to the law of Moses, save they should have the law.
“And I also knew that the law was engraven upon the plates of brass.
“And again, I knew that the Lord had delivered Laban into my hands for this cause—that I might obtain the records according to his commandments.
“Therefore I did obey the voice of the Spirit” (1 Nephi 4:14-18).
Nephi chose to have the scriptures in his life because he realized how much he and his children needed the scriptures. Let’s consider that for a moment: Without the Brass plates, would the Nephite nation have ever risen in glory? Would it have ever been there to see the coming of Christ? Probably not. If Nephi hadn’t received the plates, it’s likely that we would have known nothing of Alma or Ammon or the stripling warriors because without the scriptures, they wouldn’t have been familiar with God. And if they were unfamiliar with Him, then how could they have walked in his paths? Like the people in Josiah’s time who stumbled because they didn’t have the scriptures, the Nephites would have stumbled because they didn’t have the scriptures. But the Nephites had the scriptures and because they did, they became a mighty nation. Really, if you want to see what would have happened to the Nephites without the scriptures, look at the Mulekites. They were similar to the Nephites: The Lord had brought them out of Jerusalem and into the Promised Land. But they brought no records with them. And look at the description of what kind of people they were:
“And at the time that Mosiah discovered them, they had become exceedingly numerous. Nevertheless, they had had many wars and serious contentions, and had fallen by the sword from time to time; and their language had become corrupted; and they had brought no records with them; and they denied the being of their Creator; and Mosiah, nor the people of Mosiah, could understand them” (Omni 1:17).
Because they didn’t have the scriptures, they had had wars and contentions and they knew not Christ. Their whole society was in disarray and had been hindered because they didn’t have the words of Christ. The Nephites, however, had the scriptures and they knew Christ and their society was functioning. The scriptures matter. The scriptures make the difference. The scriptures bring you to Christ. The scriptures can let in the sunshine on a cloudy day. The scriptures lift the soul every time their read. The scriptures enhance the mind’s ability to learn and comprehend. The scriptures guide you to a better life. The scriptures gently teach you the small corrections you need to make. Applying lessons gleaned from the scriptures will improve your life every time.
The scriptures help you become like Christ. You need the scriptures to become as He is. No person can achieve what he or she can become unless they have dedicated themselves to a study of the scriptures.
Now, in knowing the value of the scriptures and how they blessed the Nephites, let me ask you this: Do you think … do you think it was worth it? Do you think it was worth it to travel hundreds of miles to get the plates? Do you think it was worth it to have to endure the trouble Nephi had to endure to get the plates? Do you think it was worth it? Of course it was. If the value of the scriptures was worth such a long journey to Nephi, should they be any less valuable to us? Are they not worth 10 or 15 minutes of our day? If you make time to brush, you can make time to read. Treat your soul better than you treat your teeth; you’ll have your soul for a much longer time. Again, the strengthening and Spirit you need to get through the week starts at church but does not end at church. You need to give Christ more than three hours a week. I urge you to find time in your life for the scriptures. You’ll never regret any time you spent reading the scriptures. I promise you that as you do, God will bless you; you will be nearer to Him, you will see your testimony deepened and your strength increased, and you will feel His love more frequently in your life, and you will find it easier to walk His paths. I urge you to let the scriptures bless your life.
In preparing for this demonstration, I went to Ask.com, and I typed in, “Why should I brush my teeth?” In looking at the pages Ask.com recommended, I saw a lot of horrifying smiles. It reminded me of my mission to England. I remember one of the elders in my mission was showing me his mission journal. In it, he had a picture of a woman’s mouth, and, underneath it, he had written, “The first British woman I met who had all her teeth.” Obviously, that’s an exaggeration. But I’ll admit I saw some fairly scary mouths in my two years there—mostly among the older generation. Some of them never learned the value of using a toothbrush daily. And it’s too late. They can no longer brush their teeth; they can only brush their tooth.
Anyhow, two years of serving in Britain can convert anyone to the virtues of using a toothbrush at least twice daily. I got even more convinced when Ask.com, directed me to this piece of information:
“Tiny bacteria live in your mouth and can stick to your teeth to make plaque. Plaque is colourless and sticky and if it hardens it becomes tartar. The bacteria use the sugar in the food that you eat. They release waste products including acid, which destroys the enamel on your teeth. You get [a] toothache when the enamel on your teeth has holes in it and the acid gets in to the tooth nerves inside your tooth. Brushing your teeth scrubs away the food and sugar so the bacteria has no sugar to make into acid.” (Suzy.co.nz).
I don’t know about you, but I’m not particularly thrilled about bacteria and its waste products living in my mouth. So … I don’t think I’ll be waiting until next Sunday to brush my teeth.
Obviously, I didn’t stand up here today to persuade to brush your teeth. Hopefully, you’re already doing that. If you’re not, well, you might be in the singles ward for quite some time. My purpose in this demonstration and in this lesson today is to get you take care of your soul—not just on Sunday, but throughout the week. Coming to church is critical. In some ways, it is like going to dentist but without the pain.
When you leave a dentist’s office, you have an expectation that your teeth will have been cleaned, any problems in your mouth will have be detected and solved and your dentist will have hopefully given you some advice. Likewise, when you walk through those glass doors today, hopefully some things will have happened. Hopefully, you will have had your soul cleansed by partaking of the sacrament. Hopefully, you will have felt the Spirit and your testimony will have been deepened and your knowledge that God loves you and is aware of you will be strengthened. Hopefully, your resolve to walk God’s paths will also have been strengthened. When you walk through those doors, if all goes right, you will walk out of here with your soul renewed, a better person than you were three hours ago and committed to living a life that follows the course of our Savior’s. Personally, when I have had to miss church for work or some other reason, I have always felt cheated. I’ve always felt like I missed out on that little boost I need to get through the week. I need these three hours to recharge my spirit and give me the strength I need to take on the battles of the upcoming week. I have learned from the experiences of my life that, without this three-hour recharge, I am not strong enough to meet life’s challenges. I have also learned the messages and insights you receive here are only as valuable as how you treat them. If you hear a message you know is for you, and you don’t apply it into your life, then, you have essentially said, “That message is of no value to me.” Said President Benson: “The great task of life is to learn the will of the Lord and then do it.”
On that point, let me relate this story, told by Elder Merlin R. Lybbert:
“An enterprising turkey gathered the flock together and, following instructions and demonstrations, taught them how to fly. All afternoon they enjoyed soaring and flying and the thrill of seeing new vistas. After the meeting, all of the turkeys walked home.”
“It is not our understanding of the principles of the gospel that brings the blessings of heaven, but the living of them.”
At church, you’ll learn the lessons on how to be like God. You’ll learn a path here that’s better than anything any philosopher has ever thought. You’ll learn how to be as He is. So why walk out of here and act like the world? Why act like those whose paths lead never to happiness, but always to sorrow?
Church is valuable, but even all the good feelings and all the Light you receive here at the Church cannot be enough to get you through the week. Just like bacteria collect on your teeth throughout the course of your day, grime also creeps onto your soul. Much of the grime comes from just existing—each person will encounter some scenario during the day that can drive away the Spirit. Perhaps, at work, you help one surly customer after another. Perhaps, at school, you might have to hear some disparaging remarks about the church. But nothing can chase away the Spirit than the frustrations of sharing the road with St. George drivers. Someone once said, “You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.” Other times, we bring into our lives the things that bring grime onto our souls—whether it’s our music or our movies or hanging out with someone who brings us down. The point is, that each of us will, just as a result of going through life, have experiences that dim the Light we received on Sunday and can weaken our resolve to walk God’s paths. So how do we renew that Light and strengthen that resolve during the week? Perhaps the simplest and surest way is to read the scriptures.
Reading the scriptures brings back into our lives the Light we lost through the inconvenience of living in the world. It will strengthen our resolve to walk God’s paths. Obviously, the grime we get on our souls can only be washed away through the Atonement. But scripture reading reminds us of the Atonement—and those reminders help us bring the Atonement more fully into our lives. The scriptures also bring to our attention what changes we need to make in our lives.
In short, if we neglect our scripture reading, it’s like neglecting to brush our teeth. When one forgets to brush their teeth, the corrosive effects of that bacteria buildup will cause cavities and, eventually, the loss of teeth. When one forgets to read the scriptures during the week, more hazardous outcomes result. The corrosive effects of sin may cause the soul to become damaged and, eventually, lost.
For that reason, it’s important you give Christ more than three hours a week. Can I say that again: It’s important you give Christ more than three hours a week? After all, for you, He gave everything He had. It’s important to realize that this life is a struggle between good and evil. If you only give Christ’s side three hours a week and spend the rest of the week dabbling in the things of the world, then whose likely to win the battle for your soul?
Giving thought to the Church only on Sunday doesn’t cut it because Satan uses so many ways to cut you down throughout the week. Just simple things like daily prayers, Institute attendance and scripture study will keep you strong enough to fight off the evil influences around you. Even decisions as to you who you hang out with and where you go may show where your true loyalties lie. If you are standing in holy places, it’s much, much easier for you to keep your hands clean and your heart pure. The strengthening and Spirit you need to get through the week starts at church but does not end at church.
As you go through the week, the longer it will have been since you received that reawakening of the soul here at Church; the more the week goes by, the more you will experience the grime of the world that dirties the soul, and the more you will hear the world’s darkening doctrines that dim the Light you picked up here today. The easiest way to help that Light shine better and to fortify your determination to keep your soul unsullied is to pick up your scriptures. Y’know, I picked on the English earlier, so I think I’d better give the Brits some respect. So, on this point, we’ll turn to a story told by an Englishman, Kenneth Johnson:
“[In 1966], I sold [my] Hillman Minx [car] and upgraded to a 1962 Vauxhall Victor Estate. Shortly after making the transaction, the man who had purchased the Hillman phoned to ask me if I had experienced any difficulty steering the vehicle. I told that I had not but then recalled that I had found the Vauxhall to have far more responsive steering than my Hillman. The new owner agreed to bring the Hillman to my business office so he could demonstrate the difficulty he was having. Once I was seated in the car and had driven it a short distance, I realized how rigid the steering mechanism was. I concluded that during the time I owned the vehicle, the mechanism had deteriorated so gradually that I had not detected the change. I agreed that the steering was defective and ended up taking responsibility for making the needed repairs.
“The experience provided me an interesting lesson. … Just as our bodies require daily nourishment in order to function properly, so do our testimonies need ongoing nourishment. Without regular renewal through prayer, scripture study, partaking of the sacrament, and involvement in Church activity and service, immediate weakening may be so slight as to be imperceptible, but over time we can become bereft and find ourselves spiritually malnourished.”
I’ve learned very well in the last year that what Elder Johnson speaks of is true. The daily regimen of scripture study provides God a chance to talk to us. There have been so many times recently when I have read the Book of Mormon, and I’ve read the verse I needed to read that day.
A year ago, President Hinckley challenged each member to read the Book of Mormon by the end of the year. In the Ensign article where he issued that challenge, President Hinckley concluded with this promise: “Without reservation I promise you that if each of you will observe this simple program, regardless of how many times you previously may have read the Book of Mormon, there will come into your lives and into your homes an added measure of the Spirit of the Lord, a strengthened resolution to walk in obedience to His commandments, and a stronger testimony of the living reality of the Son of God.” That challenge came at a fairly inconvenient time for me. I had a heavy workload at school and a demanding new job. At first, I gave no place to the challenge in my life. But then, I realized it was more than something I should do, it was something I needed to do. I made time in what was already a very full schedule. And I read the Book of Mormon—and some things happened; I had the best semester I ever had in college; I excelled in my new demanding job. Most importantly, the promises President Hinckley made were fulfilled. The Spirit did come more fully into my life. I did find it easier to keep the commandments. And my testimony was really, really strengthened. Then came Spring semester, and I went back to my sporadic reading program. And some things happened: Despite the fact I had an easier schedule, my grades weren’t as good as they were the semester before. I didn’t do as well in my job as I had in the Fall semester. And I found myself not enjoying life as much as I had before. In reflecting on that, I know what variable changed. When I read the Book of Mormon, I was happier and more successful. So I’ve set a personal goal for myself this upcoming semester to read the Book of Mormon again because I know it will make a better student; and, more importantly, a better man.
With that, I want introduce you to a man who loved the scriptures. His name was Josiah. When he was eight years old, he became King of Judah. Succeeding two wicked kings, Josiah remarkably chose to walk in God’s paths.
Of him, we are told: “And he did that which was right in the sight of the LORD, and walked in all the way of David his father, and turned not aside to the right hand or to the left” (1 Kings 22:2). “And like unto him was there no king before him, that turned to the LORD with all his heart, and with all his soul, and with all his might, according to all the law of Moses; neither after him arose there any like him” (1 Kings 23:25). At age 15, he ordered the destruction of the idols in the kingdom and started to restore the temple. While they were cleaning out the temple, “Hilkiah the priest found a book of the law of the LORD given by Moses” (2 Chronicles 34:12). Hilkiah brought the newly-rediscovered scriptures to the young king. As Josiah read them, he began to weep because he realized just how far his people had strayed from the commandments of the Lord.
Now, I want you to think about this for a moment. The kid is 15. He’s a king. I try to imagine what kind of king the 15-year-old-version of myself would make. I don’t think I’d be the kind of king who was agonizing over whether my people were keeping the commandments or not. I think I’d raising taxes and building palaces and not giving two thoughts to the peasants. But here, Josiah was 15 and a king and his greatest concern was the welfare of his people’s souls. In reading the Book, he knew that if his people wanted to live under God’s protection, they had better live God’s commandments. So he said to the priests: “Go, enquire of the LORD for me, and for them that are left in Israel and in Judah, concerning the words of the book that is found: for great is the wrath of the LORD that is poured out upon us, because our fathers have not kept the word of the LORD, to do after all that is written in this book” (2 Chronicles 34:21).
The Lord, in answering the priests’ prayer, addressed Josiah: “And as for the king of Judah, who sent you to enquire of the LORD, so shall ye say unto him, Thus saith the LORD God of Israel concerning the words which thou hast heard;
“Because thine heart was tender, and thou didst humble thyself before God, when thou heardest his words against this place, and against the inhabitants thereof, and humbledst thyself before me, and didst rend thy clothes, and weep before me; I have even heard thee also, saith the LORD.” (1 Chronicles 34:26-27). I love those verses, when the Lord tells Josiah, essentially, because you had a tender heart and were humble, I have heard your prayers; I have seen your tears.
It’s a beautiful thought to know that at those times when the elements of life beat upon us and reduce us to tears, God really does hear our prayers and count our tears and He stands there ready and willing to help us.
I know that many times in my life, when I have prayed through the tears, that God has heard and God has answered and God has helped.
What Josiah does next is remarkable, and it reiterates his love for and devotion to the Lord. He gathers his people together and reads to them the scriptures—a meeting that lasted for eight hours. He did this because he knew the people could not follow God’s commandments, if they did not know them. Said President Spencer W. Kimball: “I feel strongly that we must all of us return to the scriptures just as King Josiah did and let them work mightily within us, impelling us to an unwavering determination to serve the Lord. Josiah had the law of Moses only. In our scriptures we have the gospel of Jesus Christ in its fulness; and if a taste is sweet, in fulness there is joy.”
This happened in 625 B.C. in Jerusalem. So the timeline is such that it’s possible that in Josiah’s audience listening that day was a young man named Lehi. While history tells us that the people Jerusalem didn’t follow God’s commandments as they should have and eventually paid the price, the Book of Mormon record also lets us know that Lehi did value the scriptures and did keep the commandments. And to him and his seed was given a great Land of Promise.
Lehi’s son Nephi taught us a valuable lesson on just how important the scriptures are to us in journey through life. You know the story about how he and his brothers returned to get the brass plates and how Laban was delivered into Nephi’s hands and how Nephi was commanded to kill Laban. Understandably, valiant Nephi, for once, hesitates to follow this commandment. So then comes the reasoning given to him by the Spirit with which you are all familiar: “It is better that one man should perish than that a nation should dwindle and perish in unbelief” (2 Nephi 4:13). Even with that assurance, Nephi still needs to think about it. I want to read you the verses where Nephi makes his decision. As I do, I want you to listen to the value he realizes are found in the scriptures:
“And now, when I, Nephi, had heard these words, I remembered the words of the Lord which he spake unto me in the wilderness, saying that: Inasmuch as thy seed shall keep my commandments, they shall prosper in the land of promise.
“Yea, and I also thought that they could not keep the commandments of the Lord according to the law of Moses, save they should have the law.
“And I also knew that the law was engraven upon the plates of brass.
“And again, I knew that the Lord had delivered Laban into my hands for this cause—that I might obtain the records according to his commandments.
“Therefore I did obey the voice of the Spirit” (1 Nephi 4:14-18).
Nephi chose to have the scriptures in his life because he realized how much he and his children needed the scriptures. Let’s consider that for a moment: Without the Brass plates, would the Nephite nation have ever risen in glory? Would it have ever been there to see the coming of Christ? Probably not. If Nephi hadn’t received the plates, it’s likely that we would have known nothing of Alma or Ammon or the stripling warriors because without the scriptures, they wouldn’t have been familiar with God. And if they were unfamiliar with Him, then how could they have walked in his paths? Like the people in Josiah’s time who stumbled because they didn’t have the scriptures, the Nephites would have stumbled because they didn’t have the scriptures. But the Nephites had the scriptures and because they did, they became a mighty nation. Really, if you want to see what would have happened to the Nephites without the scriptures, look at the Mulekites. They were similar to the Nephites: The Lord had brought them out of Jerusalem and into the Promised Land. But they brought no records with them. And look at the description of what kind of people they were:
“And at the time that Mosiah discovered them, they had become exceedingly numerous. Nevertheless, they had had many wars and serious contentions, and had fallen by the sword from time to time; and their language had become corrupted; and they had brought no records with them; and they denied the being of their Creator; and Mosiah, nor the people of Mosiah, could understand them” (Omni 1:17).
Because they didn’t have the scriptures, they had had wars and contentions and they knew not Christ. Their whole society was in disarray and had been hindered because they didn’t have the words of Christ. The Nephites, however, had the scriptures and they knew Christ and their society was functioning. The scriptures matter. The scriptures make the difference. The scriptures bring you to Christ. The scriptures can let in the sunshine on a cloudy day. The scriptures lift the soul every time their read. The scriptures enhance the mind’s ability to learn and comprehend. The scriptures guide you to a better life. The scriptures gently teach you the small corrections you need to make. Applying lessons gleaned from the scriptures will improve your life every time.
The scriptures help you become like Christ. You need the scriptures to become as He is. No person can achieve what he or she can become unless they have dedicated themselves to a study of the scriptures.
Now, in knowing the value of the scriptures and how they blessed the Nephites, let me ask you this: Do you think … do you think it was worth it? Do you think it was worth it to travel hundreds of miles to get the plates? Do you think it was worth it to have to endure the trouble Nephi had to endure to get the plates? Do you think it was worth it? Of course it was. If the value of the scriptures was worth such a long journey to Nephi, should they be any less valuable to us? Are they not worth 10 or 15 minutes of our day? If you make time to brush, you can make time to read. Treat your soul better than you treat your teeth; you’ll have your soul for a much longer time. Again, the strengthening and Spirit you need to get through the week starts at church but does not end at church. You need to give Christ more than three hours a week. I urge you to find time in your life for the scriptures. You’ll never regret any time you spent reading the scriptures. I promise you that as you do, God will bless you; you will be nearer to Him, you will see your testimony deepened and your strength increased, and you will feel His love more frequently in your life, and you will find it easier to walk His paths. I urge you to let the scriptures bless your life.
The Love of our Savior
On a Saturday morning in February, I was reading a book because there was no football to be watched. On that day, I read this story: A sergeant gives a piece of bread to a starving mother and she breaks it in two and gives it to her two children. “Hmpf!” says the sergeant, “she didn't keep any for herself.”
“Because she's not hungry,” said a soldier.
“No, because she's a mother,” the sergeant said.
About that time, my brother, Joey, asked me if I wanted to go to Fazoli's with him and his family. He was buying, so I said OK. My sister-in-law, Sabrina, was particularly excited to go there because she loves their breadsticks. In fact, that was pretty much all we had heard from Sabrina all morning. We went there and got our food, but the breadstick lady didn't make her rounds for quite some time. Sabrina was disappointed and even jokingly commented that she was going to storm out if she didn't get her precious breadsticks soon. Finally, the breadsticks arrive. The breadstick lady gives two breadsticks each to me, Joey and Sabrina, but she doesn't give any to the kids. And so what does Sabrina do with those long-awaited breadsticks? She gives her treasured breadsticks to her two kids.
“Hmm. It's just like that story--albeit under different circumstances,” I thought as I ate my breadstick (because an uncle's love definitely doesn't come close to matching a mother's love). “The mother in the story was waiting for food and when she got it, she gave it to her kids. And here, Sabrina was waiting for her breadsticks all day, finally gets them, and, instead, she gives them to Luke and Isabel.”
I kind of forgot about that incident until a few days later when I picked up the book again and re-read the story. And I thought I should e-mail Sabrina and tell her about this little experience. So I did. And I got this reply:
“Wow, that is such a coincidence! It's so true though. Before kids I would have knocked down and fought anyone that got in the way of my Fazoli's breadsticks, but after kids, that's just what you do. Although it is kind of selfish in a round about way because I make sure they are taken care of and happy first; otherwise, I can't relax and feel happy.”
A few months ago, my friend, Camilla, had her first child. She sent me an e-mail a few days later to let me know she was now a mother.
In it, she told me: “It's an amazing thing, the first morning I woke up with him I started crying just because I loved him so much.”
I’ve spent some time thinking about those insights about a mother’s love; the examples of my sister-in-law and my friend. And I’ve thought even more about the examples of my sisters as they interact with their kids, and the example of the great love my mother has shown for me. It’s an interesting thing. With the exceptions of twins or triplets, human beings are born one-by-one. That means for each of us, a mother went through nine months of pregnancy, waiting for us to arrive. For nine months, while she anxiously awaited our arrival, she probably had many excited conversations with friends and was preparing for when we arrived. What I like about Camilla’s e-mail and Sabrina’s example is that they gave me an insight to the thrill a mother has and the love she feels when her child finally arrives. And that love shows through in the connection the newborn child and mother have for each other. I think in all of human love, there may be no greater love than the love a mother has for her child.
In fact, I can only think of one higher form of love: “Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends” (John 15:13). Those words were spoken by the One who did give His life for us. And as much as our mothers love us, His love for us runs even deeper. Christ once spoke directly in 1 Nephi 21:14-16 to those who wondered if His love was real; if He did, in fact, remember them and hear their cries.
“But, behold, Zion hath said: The Lord hath forsaken me, and my Lord hath forgotten me—but he will show that he hath not.
“For can a woman forget her sucking child, that she should not have compassion on the son of her womb? Yea, they may forget, yet will I not forget thee, O house of Israel.
“Behold, I have graven thee upon the palms of my hands; thy walls are continually before me.” (1 Nephi 20: 14-16).
We’ve discussed a mother’s love. We know how precious that is. And, here, Christ says a young mother isn’t going to forget her newborn; likewise, He isn’t going to forget us.
In fact, he says there’s a better chance that the mother will forget her newborn than there is that Christ will forget us. In fact, there is no element of chance involved. He simply won't forget us! And I love how He describes His reason why: “I have graven thee upon the palms of my hands.”
Engraven upon the palms of his hands is the proof of His love for us. The proof that He willingly went through literally everything for us, to reclaim us, to redeem us. The proof that, for us, He suffered in Gethsemane; that, for us, instead of asking for mercy from Pilate, He accepted his impending execution and said: “To this end was I born, and for this cause came I into the world” (John 18:37); that, for us, He allowed himself to be lifted upon the cross; and that, for us, He gave His life. “Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends” (John 15:13).
I know you can’t remember this, but I want you to think what it was like to be in the Premortal Council, when the Father laid out His plan for us, and, when we, upon hearing it, shouted for joy. Can you imagine what it was like to hear the Father ask the question: “Whom shall I send” (Abraham 3:27)? Who do you think you wanted to answer the question? Most of us probably hoped our Eldest Brother would. And can imagine that moment, when we heard Christ volunteer to be our Savior? Can you imagine the great love it must have taken for Him to volunteer for that role, knowing all the weight and responsibility He alone would have to bear? He knew a great toll would be required of Him to rescue us. He, the only one among us, who wouldn’t need a Savior chose to be a Savior for us all. Can you imagine how you must have felt at that moment? Christ volunteered to be our Savior and our Friend, but chose not to glorify Himself for doing so. Christ acted purely and completely out of love.
And as much love as it must have required to volunteer for such a role, how much more love must it have taken to complete the task? You can hear that love in the Intercessory Prayer Christ offers just before His sufferings in Gethesemane. Knowing that the hour of His sacrifice had come, our Savior prays: “O my Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me: nevertheless not as I will, but as thou wilt.” In other words, Christ knew the terribleness of what lay ahead; but if it was the only one way to reclaim us, He would perform the Atonement. Christ later told Joseph Smith of His suffering:
“Which suffering caused myself, even God, the greatest of all, to tremble because of pain, and to bleed at every pore, and to suffer both body and spirit—and would that I might not drink the bitter cup, and shrink—
“Nevertheless, glory be to the Father, and I partook and finished my preparations unto the children of men” (D&C 19:18-19).
Of course, the cause behind this willingness to suffer all things was His infinite love. That love cannot be matched. That love is unconquerable. It’s a love that is both infinite and eternal. I love these verses from Romans 8:38-39
“For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come,
“Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”
We cannot repay Him for what He has done for us—but we can do this much: We can be appreciative for what He has done for us, and we can conform our lives to His, so that we can be full partakers of His Mercy. In other words, we can study His life and throw off the parts of our lives that don’t align with His. He has said, “For behold, I, God, have suffered these things for all, that they might not suffer if they would repent (D&C 19:16). And, also consider these verses from D&C 18:10-13:
“Remember the worth of souls is great in the sight of God;
“For, behold, the Lord your Redeemer suffered death in the flesh; wherefore he suffered the pain of all men, that all men might repent and come unto him.
“And he hath risen again from the dead, that he might bring all men unto him, on conditions of repentance.
“And how great is his joy in the soul that repenteth!”
I love that last line: “And how great is his joy in the soul that repenteth!” Can’t you just see Christ rejoicing every time one of his brothers or sisters starts the repentance process? Can you imagine His thrill as we begin to come unto Him, and we ask Him to take our sins away?
Another thing we can do is treat others in a way that shows our love for Him. It’s to know that Christ loves us and it’s likewise important to know we are children of God. But we also need to realize that every fellow human is a child of God and each was loved enough by Christ that He gave His life for them. How we treat them reflects how we treat Him, for He has said: “Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me” (Matt. 25:40). Let’s go back to the concept of a mother’s love. I remember one time hearing a woman cry because her daughter, who was in those awkward middle school years, had become the scorn of all her classmates. Their unmerciful teasing was doing severe damage to the girl’s self-esteem, and this mother who loved her daughter so very, very much didn’t know what to do. She didn’t know how to make the teasing stop nor how to repair her daughter’s self-esteem. Listening to this, I just wished I could go and show these kids the effect their teasings were having on this little girl. “Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me” (Matt. 25:40)
When I think about this concept, I thought about when my little sister was on her mission and the prayers I heard my mother say for her each day. I realized how much my mom loved and missed my sister. On my mission, I knew that such prayers were being said for me. And it gave me great strength. But as I heard my mother pray for my sister, I thought of the mothers of my companions. Some of them I wish I would have treated better, and treated them in a way that honors both their mother and their Savior have for them.
I thought also about a talk I heard recently in our Stake Elder’s Quorum training when a high councilman was telling us about the worries he had about his daughter moving away for the first time. He was trying make the point, that he wanted the priesthood holders where she was to ensure that her needs were met.
Another thing that I thought about on this subject this week came as I watched an episode of “That 70s Show” where Kelso had just become a father of a little girl. And he realized that he had not treated the girls the way he would want a guy to treat his daughter.
Finally, I had a realization about this when I was in my Institute class on Wednesday and we were talking about how we treat people.
This is the thought that came to me: A Telestial person will treat another as an object: something that is to be used and discarded; a Terrestrial person will treat another as a human being: he will treat them with great honor but he will seek his pursuits first; a Celestial person will treat another as a child of God, and will treat them as He would the Savior. “Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me” (Matt. 25:40) It was also Christ’s teaching that “All things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them” (3 Nephi 14:12).
So let’s do a quick self-inventory: Are your words to others edifying? Are they words you would like to say to the Savior? Are those actions toward others in harmony with the gospel? Are your actions in your dating life consistent with our belief that each person is a precious child of God, made in His image? Is there any you have not forgiven? Are people better off for having known you?
I doubt any of us answered “yes, I’m perfect in all those areas.” I know I have a long ways to go until I can say I treat all people in a way that reflects my love for the Savior. Fortunately, I, like you, have a chance to repent. The chance to repent, is to me, a second chance—and it’s the opportunity to improve who we are. All the chances we take to better align our life with the life our Savior’s is showing Christ appreciation for His Atonement.
Finally, I just want to bear you my testimony that I know God loves you, and there’s nothing He wouldn’t do for you. That love has already been proven. God loved us enough to send His Son; and Christ loved us enough to suffer for us in Gethsemane and give His life on the cross. It was on that cross that He taught a beautiful lesson about how much he loves each of us when he prayed for those that had spat on Him, when He prayed for those who had whipped Him, for those who had pierced his side, who had placed a crown a thorn upon His head, who had walked by and mocked him while on the cross, who had screamed for his death. For all these, he prayed: “Father, forgive them, they know not what they do” (Luke 23:34). For all those who had cheered for his death and tortured Him, Christ prayed that his Atonement could reclaim even them. Christ bears the mark of his love in his palms even for those who pierced those very palms. If He loves them, then surely He must love us too.
I testify that He does.
“Because she's not hungry,” said a soldier.
“No, because she's a mother,” the sergeant said.
About that time, my brother, Joey, asked me if I wanted to go to Fazoli's with him and his family. He was buying, so I said OK. My sister-in-law, Sabrina, was particularly excited to go there because she loves their breadsticks. In fact, that was pretty much all we had heard from Sabrina all morning. We went there and got our food, but the breadstick lady didn't make her rounds for quite some time. Sabrina was disappointed and even jokingly commented that she was going to storm out if she didn't get her precious breadsticks soon. Finally, the breadsticks arrive. The breadstick lady gives two breadsticks each to me, Joey and Sabrina, but she doesn't give any to the kids. And so what does Sabrina do with those long-awaited breadsticks? She gives her treasured breadsticks to her two kids.
“Hmm. It's just like that story--albeit under different circumstances,” I thought as I ate my breadstick (because an uncle's love definitely doesn't come close to matching a mother's love). “The mother in the story was waiting for food and when she got it, she gave it to her kids. And here, Sabrina was waiting for her breadsticks all day, finally gets them, and, instead, she gives them to Luke and Isabel.”
I kind of forgot about that incident until a few days later when I picked up the book again and re-read the story. And I thought I should e-mail Sabrina and tell her about this little experience. So I did. And I got this reply:
“Wow, that is such a coincidence! It's so true though. Before kids I would have knocked down and fought anyone that got in the way of my Fazoli's breadsticks, but after kids, that's just what you do. Although it is kind of selfish in a round about way because I make sure they are taken care of and happy first; otherwise, I can't relax and feel happy.”
A few months ago, my friend, Camilla, had her first child. She sent me an e-mail a few days later to let me know she was now a mother.
In it, she told me: “It's an amazing thing, the first morning I woke up with him I started crying just because I loved him so much.”
I’ve spent some time thinking about those insights about a mother’s love; the examples of my sister-in-law and my friend. And I’ve thought even more about the examples of my sisters as they interact with their kids, and the example of the great love my mother has shown for me. It’s an interesting thing. With the exceptions of twins or triplets, human beings are born one-by-one. That means for each of us, a mother went through nine months of pregnancy, waiting for us to arrive. For nine months, while she anxiously awaited our arrival, she probably had many excited conversations with friends and was preparing for when we arrived. What I like about Camilla’s e-mail and Sabrina’s example is that they gave me an insight to the thrill a mother has and the love she feels when her child finally arrives. And that love shows through in the connection the newborn child and mother have for each other. I think in all of human love, there may be no greater love than the love a mother has for her child.
In fact, I can only think of one higher form of love: “Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends” (John 15:13). Those words were spoken by the One who did give His life for us. And as much as our mothers love us, His love for us runs even deeper. Christ once spoke directly in 1 Nephi 21:14-16 to those who wondered if His love was real; if He did, in fact, remember them and hear their cries.
“But, behold, Zion hath said: The Lord hath forsaken me, and my Lord hath forgotten me—but he will show that he hath not.
“For can a woman forget her sucking child, that she should not have compassion on the son of her womb? Yea, they may forget, yet will I not forget thee, O house of Israel.
“Behold, I have graven thee upon the palms of my hands; thy walls are continually before me.” (1 Nephi 20: 14-16).
We’ve discussed a mother’s love. We know how precious that is. And, here, Christ says a young mother isn’t going to forget her newborn; likewise, He isn’t going to forget us.
In fact, he says there’s a better chance that the mother will forget her newborn than there is that Christ will forget us. In fact, there is no element of chance involved. He simply won't forget us! And I love how He describes His reason why: “I have graven thee upon the palms of my hands.”
Engraven upon the palms of his hands is the proof of His love for us. The proof that He willingly went through literally everything for us, to reclaim us, to redeem us. The proof that, for us, He suffered in Gethsemane; that, for us, instead of asking for mercy from Pilate, He accepted his impending execution and said: “To this end was I born, and for this cause came I into the world” (John 18:37); that, for us, He allowed himself to be lifted upon the cross; and that, for us, He gave His life. “Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends” (John 15:13).
I know you can’t remember this, but I want you to think what it was like to be in the Premortal Council, when the Father laid out His plan for us, and, when we, upon hearing it, shouted for joy. Can you imagine what it was like to hear the Father ask the question: “Whom shall I send” (Abraham 3:27)? Who do you think you wanted to answer the question? Most of us probably hoped our Eldest Brother would. And can imagine that moment, when we heard Christ volunteer to be our Savior? Can you imagine the great love it must have taken for Him to volunteer for that role, knowing all the weight and responsibility He alone would have to bear? He knew a great toll would be required of Him to rescue us. He, the only one among us, who wouldn’t need a Savior chose to be a Savior for us all. Can you imagine how you must have felt at that moment? Christ volunteered to be our Savior and our Friend, but chose not to glorify Himself for doing so. Christ acted purely and completely out of love.
And as much love as it must have required to volunteer for such a role, how much more love must it have taken to complete the task? You can hear that love in the Intercessory Prayer Christ offers just before His sufferings in Gethesemane. Knowing that the hour of His sacrifice had come, our Savior prays: “O my Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me: nevertheless not as I will, but as thou wilt.” In other words, Christ knew the terribleness of what lay ahead; but if it was the only one way to reclaim us, He would perform the Atonement. Christ later told Joseph Smith of His suffering:
“Which suffering caused myself, even God, the greatest of all, to tremble because of pain, and to bleed at every pore, and to suffer both body and spirit—and would that I might not drink the bitter cup, and shrink—
“Nevertheless, glory be to the Father, and I partook and finished my preparations unto the children of men” (D&C 19:18-19).
Of course, the cause behind this willingness to suffer all things was His infinite love. That love cannot be matched. That love is unconquerable. It’s a love that is both infinite and eternal. I love these verses from Romans 8:38-39
“For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come,
“Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”
We cannot repay Him for what He has done for us—but we can do this much: We can be appreciative for what He has done for us, and we can conform our lives to His, so that we can be full partakers of His Mercy. In other words, we can study His life and throw off the parts of our lives that don’t align with His. He has said, “For behold, I, God, have suffered these things for all, that they might not suffer if they would repent (D&C 19:16). And, also consider these verses from D&C 18:10-13:
“Remember the worth of souls is great in the sight of God;
“For, behold, the Lord your Redeemer suffered death in the flesh; wherefore he suffered the pain of all men, that all men might repent and come unto him.
“And he hath risen again from the dead, that he might bring all men unto him, on conditions of repentance.
“And how great is his joy in the soul that repenteth!”
I love that last line: “And how great is his joy in the soul that repenteth!” Can’t you just see Christ rejoicing every time one of his brothers or sisters starts the repentance process? Can you imagine His thrill as we begin to come unto Him, and we ask Him to take our sins away?
Another thing we can do is treat others in a way that shows our love for Him. It’s to know that Christ loves us and it’s likewise important to know we are children of God. But we also need to realize that every fellow human is a child of God and each was loved enough by Christ that He gave His life for them. How we treat them reflects how we treat Him, for He has said: “Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me” (Matt. 25:40). Let’s go back to the concept of a mother’s love. I remember one time hearing a woman cry because her daughter, who was in those awkward middle school years, had become the scorn of all her classmates. Their unmerciful teasing was doing severe damage to the girl’s self-esteem, and this mother who loved her daughter so very, very much didn’t know what to do. She didn’t know how to make the teasing stop nor how to repair her daughter’s self-esteem. Listening to this, I just wished I could go and show these kids the effect their teasings were having on this little girl. “Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me” (Matt. 25:40)
When I think about this concept, I thought about when my little sister was on her mission and the prayers I heard my mother say for her each day. I realized how much my mom loved and missed my sister. On my mission, I knew that such prayers were being said for me. And it gave me great strength. But as I heard my mother pray for my sister, I thought of the mothers of my companions. Some of them I wish I would have treated better, and treated them in a way that honors both their mother and their Savior have for them.
I thought also about a talk I heard recently in our Stake Elder’s Quorum training when a high councilman was telling us about the worries he had about his daughter moving away for the first time. He was trying make the point, that he wanted the priesthood holders where she was to ensure that her needs were met.
Another thing that I thought about on this subject this week came as I watched an episode of “That 70s Show” where Kelso had just become a father of a little girl. And he realized that he had not treated the girls the way he would want a guy to treat his daughter.
Finally, I had a realization about this when I was in my Institute class on Wednesday and we were talking about how we treat people.
This is the thought that came to me: A Telestial person will treat another as an object: something that is to be used and discarded; a Terrestrial person will treat another as a human being: he will treat them with great honor but he will seek his pursuits first; a Celestial person will treat another as a child of God, and will treat them as He would the Savior. “Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me” (Matt. 25:40) It was also Christ’s teaching that “All things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them” (3 Nephi 14:12).
So let’s do a quick self-inventory: Are your words to others edifying? Are they words you would like to say to the Savior? Are those actions toward others in harmony with the gospel? Are your actions in your dating life consistent with our belief that each person is a precious child of God, made in His image? Is there any you have not forgiven? Are people better off for having known you?
I doubt any of us answered “yes, I’m perfect in all those areas.” I know I have a long ways to go until I can say I treat all people in a way that reflects my love for the Savior. Fortunately, I, like you, have a chance to repent. The chance to repent, is to me, a second chance—and it’s the opportunity to improve who we are. All the chances we take to better align our life with the life our Savior’s is showing Christ appreciation for His Atonement.
Finally, I just want to bear you my testimony that I know God loves you, and there’s nothing He wouldn’t do for you. That love has already been proven. God loved us enough to send His Son; and Christ loved us enough to suffer for us in Gethsemane and give His life on the cross. It was on that cross that He taught a beautiful lesson about how much he loves each of us when he prayed for those that had spat on Him, when He prayed for those who had whipped Him, for those who had pierced his side, who had placed a crown a thorn upon His head, who had walked by and mocked him while on the cross, who had screamed for his death. For all these, he prayed: “Father, forgive them, they know not what they do” (Luke 23:34). For all those who had cheered for his death and tortured Him, Christ prayed that his Atonement could reclaim even them. Christ bears the mark of his love in his palms even for those who pierced those very palms. If He loves them, then surely He must love us too.
I testify that He does.
The Good Shepherd
I had a great time preparing this lesson this week and studying the topic—the Shepherds of Israel. As I read through the lesson material, as I read what church leaders had said about this topic, and as I interviewed Bishop Shepherd about his role as the shepherd of this ward, I felt time and time again, the love my Heavenly Father has for me. The impressions of this love were deep; they were real, and they were frequent. I already knew God loved me—but these reminders were a welcomed strengthening of my faith and self-worth. I was reminded that I am His child, and He is on my side—every-ready to help me rise to my best. I was reminded that He is aware of me and my needs—and that no matter where I go or what I do, His love for me will never cease—and He will always stand, arms outstretched, ready to encircle me in His love. Of course, this great love He has for me does not make me unique, for it is the same love He has for each of you and for all of His children. But His love is personal—and I am grateful for the personal ways in which He has expressed His love to me. My hope today is that the Spirit will be here, and you too will feel God’s love—and you will be reminded, as I have been so often this week—that our God is, indeed, our Father—a very involved Father who is aware of each of us and loves us so very much. I hope you will be reminded that ours is not a distant God; He is an involved God who personalizes His interactions with us.
I hope you feel that love this day and every day. I want you to know that I know that God is real. And so is His love. I have felt that love so often in my life—particularly when I didn’t feel worthy of His love, God has loved me. That love has become a source of strength for me. More than anything else in this world, I am convinced of God’s love. And as we study the role of a shepherd—and, in particular, the Good Shepherd, we find that at the center of what a shepherd is—and what Christ is—is love.
Let me start with a story by Elder John R. Lassater: “Some years ago, it was my privilege to visit the country of Morocco as part of an official United States government delegation. As part of that visit, we were invited to travel some distance into the desert to visit some ruins. Five large black limousines moved across the beautiful Moroccan countryside at considerable speed. I was riding in the third limousine, which had lagged some distance behind the second. As we topped the brow of a hill, we noticed that the limousine in front of us had pulled off to the side of the road.
“As we drew nearer, I sensed that an accident had occurred and suggested to my driver that we stop. The scene before us has remained with me for these many years.
“An old shepherd, in the long, flowing robes of the Savior’s day, was standing near the limousine in conversation with the driver. Nearby, I noted a small flock of sheep numbering not more than fifteen or twenty. An accident had occurred. The king’s vehicle had struck and injured one of the sheep belonging to the old shepherd. The driver of the vehicle was explaining to him the law of the land. Because the king’s vehicle had injured one of the sheep belonging to the old shepherd, he was now entitled to one hundred times its value at maturity. However, under the same law, the injured sheep must be slain and the meat divided among the people. My interpreter hastily added, ‘But the old shepherd will not accept the money. They never do.’
“Startled, I asked him why. And he added, ‘Because of the love he has for each of his sheep.’ It was then that I noticed the old shepherd reach down, lift the injured lamb in his arms, and place it in a large pouch on the front of his robe. He kept stroking its head, repeating the same word over and over again. When I asked the meaning of the word, I was informed, ‘Oh, he is calling it by name. All of his sheep have a name, for he is their shepherd, and the good shepherds know each one of their sheep by name.’
“It was as my driver predicted. The money was refused, and the old shepherd with his small flock of sheep, with the injured one tucked safely in the pouch on his robe, disappeared into the beautiful deserts of Morocco.”
There are some clear parallels between the way this Moroccan shepherd treated his lambs and the way we know the Good Shepherd treats each of us. Like the shepherd in this story, Christ knows our name, our situation, our needs.
We know He will pay any price to keep us—because He has already paid that most horrible of prices for us. And just as the Moroccan picked up, cradled and comforted the wounded sheep, our Savior binds our wounds, comforts us and heals us in the loving way that only He can. President Hinckley has said, “When [every] other love fades, there will be that shining, transcendent, everlasting love of God for each of us and the love of His Son, who gave His life for us.”
In between Gethsemane and the Cross, Christ stood before Pilate, a Roman Leader who would decide whether to crucify Jesus. Jesus begged not for his life.
Rather, he simply said, “To this end was I born and for this cause came I into the world” (John 18:37). He came to redeem, and no Roman leader or any man would interfere with Christ fulfilling the awful requirements of being our Redeemer. Think about that some more. Instead of a reprieve, Christ states his desire to give His life. “To this end was I born and for this cause came I into the world” (John 18:37).
Think about that next month when we celebrate His birth. When we celebrate Christmas, we aren’t just celebrating a birth—We are celebrating the life, ministry, and Great Sacrifice of our Savior. We are celebrating His acceptance of His role in the plan of salvation. We are celebrating His great unmatched, unparalleled love that proved to be the catalyst of His Atoning Sacrifice. The rest of us came to Earth to prove ourselves; He came to redeem.
The more you study and learn of Christ, the more you will want to celebrate Christ. President Ezra Taft Benson once said: “Without Christ there would be no Christmas, and without Christ there can be no fulness of joy.” President Hinckley elaborated on that, when he said, “We honor His birth. But without His death that birth would have been but one more birth. It was the redemption which He worked out in the Garden of Gethsemane and upon the cross of Calvary which made His gift immortal, universal, and everlasting.”
President Hinckley said: “This is the wondrous and true story of Christmas. The birth of Jesus in Bethlehem of Judea is preface. The three-year ministry of the Master is prologue. The magnificent substance of the story is His sacrifice, the totally selfless act of dying in pain on the cross of Calvary to atone for the sins of all of us. The epilogue is the miracle of the Resurrection, bringing the assurance that ‘as in Adam all die, even so in Christ shall all be made alive’.”
After volunteering in the Grand Council in Heaven to be our Savior, Christ came and organized our Earth. And then, in a stable, He came to fulfill his greatest responsibility that of Atoner. And, in that way, Christmas is a promise kept.
For 33 years, the Creator of this Earth dwelt on this Earth. For 33 years, he lived a spotless life, keeping Himself qualified to be our Savior. 33 years of sinless living. That’s incredible. I doubt I could live a spotless life for 33 minutes, if my life depended on it. And he lived a virtuous life for 33 years, and my life did depend on it.
For three years, He ministered. In those three years, He gave us the wonderful teachings found in the Gospels, and set his life as an example to all those would follow. He established His church and organized its priesthood.
But his greatest work came in Gethsemane and on the Cross.
One LDS scholar put it this way:
“Human nature makes us want to quantify, to measure the atonement of Christ, but his ordeal is off any scale; it is beyond our comprehension. Jesus bore not just the sins of the world, but the sorrow, pains, and sicknesses of the world.
“All the negative aspects of human existence brought about by the Fall, Jesus Christ absorbed into himself. He experienced vicariously in Gethsemane all the private griefs and heartaches, all the physical pains and handicaps, all the emotional burdens and depressions of the human family. He knows the loneliness of those who don’t fit in or who aren’t handsome or pretty. He knows what it’s like to choose up teams and be the last one chosen. He knows the anguish of parents who children go wrong … He knows all these things personally and intimately because He lived them in the Gethsemane experience. Having personally lived a perfect life, he then chose to experience our imperfect lives. In that infinite Gethsemane experience, the meridian of time, the center of eternity, he lived a billion billion lifetimes of pain, disease and sorrow.
“God uses no magic wand to simply wave bad things into nonexistence. The sins that he remits, he remits by making them his own and suffering them. The pain and heartaches that he relieves, he relieves by suffering them himself. Those things can be shared and absorbed, but they cannot be simply washed or wished away. They must be suffered. Thus we owe him not only for our spiritual cleansing from sin, but for our physical, mental and emotional healings as well, for he has borne these infirmities for us also. All that the Fall put wrong, the Savior in his atonement puts right. It is all part of his infinite sacrifice—of his infinite gift” (Stephen E. Robinson).
All of that was experienced by Christ for you. For me. For all of us. Indeed, the Son of Man hath descended below them all. Can we hear such a description of Christ’s Atonement and doubt that He loves us? We know he does. He has proven it. “Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends” (John 15:13).
No description can come close to quantifying the awfulness of that night—the dreadful sufferings Christ had to make on our behalf. But we can see that in order to make an infinite atonement, Christ’s love for us also had to be infinite.
Can you read about Christ, can you study his life, can you study Gethsemane and the Cross and not come away with the knowledge that He loves you? And can you not also see that those experiences did indeed qualify him to be both your Redeemer and your Friend? Can you heed the call Christ made to each of his through his prophet Alma: “And now I say unto you, all you that are desirous to follow the voice of the good shepherd, come ye out from the wicked, and be ye separate, and touch not their unclean things ... And now I say unto you that the good shepherd doth call after you; and if you will hearken unto his voice he will bring you into his fold, and ye are his sheep” (Alma 5:57, 60)? I declare that He is our Savior, and that He loves us and that invites all to come unto Him. This is the truth testified of by Nephi: “[Christ] inviteth them all to come unto him and partake of his goodness; and he denieth none that come unto him” (2 Nephi 26:33).
The Good Shepherd is calling unto all of us to follow Him, for He is the way, the truth and the life. It is by Him that we will be resurrected. It is only through Him that we can return to live with our Heavenly Father. It is only through Him that we can attain forgiveness and a renewal of the Soul. It is only through Him that the families are eternal. And it is only through Him that the love that exists between couples and families is made eternal. It is only through Him that we will have our happily ever after. I pray that you will give room to Him in your heart and turn your life over to Him.
Said President Benson: “Christ’s great gift to us was His life and sacrifice. Should that not then be our small gift to Him—our lives and sacrifices, not only now but in the future? … Yes, men and women who turn their lives over to God will discover that He can make a lot more out of their lives than they can. He will deepen their joys, expand their vision, quicken their minds, strengthen their muscles, lift their spirits, multiply their blessings, increase their opportunities, comfort their souls, raise up friends, and pour out peace. Whoever will lose his life in the service of God will find eternal life.”
I want to repeat one of those lines by President Benson: “Men and women who turn their lives over to God will discover that He can make a lot more out of their lives than they can.”
I told you earlier this week I interviewed Bishop Shepherd, and I want to share a portion of that interview with you because you will see in it how Bishop Shepherd has benefited from turning his life over to Christ. This is what Bishop Shepherd told me: “I can tell you that all the good things that have happened in my life have happened because I've tried to do the right thing: going on a mission, where to go to school, who to marry, where to live. Most of my opportunities in life have come because I tried to be faithful. The biggest thing that has helped me is my wife; she has kept me on the strait-and-narrow path. The Lord has been very, very good to me, and part of the reason I enjoy being a bishop is that I've been given a lot, and I get to give back.”
Then Bishop Shepherd described what happens to people when they follow Christ: “They maintain a perspective and hope, and they can deal with life's ups and downs a lot better than someone who doesn't have that inner compass. If you're grounded in Christ, you're going to be better able to weather the storms and be much happier.”
The call of the Good Shepherd has gone forth; today is the day to come unto Christ. Again, I remind you of the words of Alma: “And now I say unto you, all you that are desirous to follow the voice of the good shepherd, come ye out from the wicked, and be ye separate, and touch not their unclean things” (Alma 5:57). Come unto Christ.
Resolve to be better. Get away from those habits, those people and those sins that seek to take you away from Him. Separate yourself from those who drag you down. Separate yourself from those who chase the Spirit from your life by their words or actions. Separate yourself from your own thoughts or deeds that drive out the Spirit and put distance between you and Christ. I don’t know your individual circumstance, but you do, and Christ does. And I’ll bet if you listen He will tell you how to come unto Him—what sins you need to repent of, what habits you need to shed, what friends you need to replace. But this much I do know: You will never find happiness when you are apart from Christ; you will only find true, real lasting happiness when you draw near unto Him. This is my testimony and promise because it has been my experience—if you want to be happy, come unto Christ.
I hope you feel that love this day and every day. I want you to know that I know that God is real. And so is His love. I have felt that love so often in my life—particularly when I didn’t feel worthy of His love, God has loved me. That love has become a source of strength for me. More than anything else in this world, I am convinced of God’s love. And as we study the role of a shepherd—and, in particular, the Good Shepherd, we find that at the center of what a shepherd is—and what Christ is—is love.
Let me start with a story by Elder John R. Lassater: “Some years ago, it was my privilege to visit the country of Morocco as part of an official United States government delegation. As part of that visit, we were invited to travel some distance into the desert to visit some ruins. Five large black limousines moved across the beautiful Moroccan countryside at considerable speed. I was riding in the third limousine, which had lagged some distance behind the second. As we topped the brow of a hill, we noticed that the limousine in front of us had pulled off to the side of the road.
“As we drew nearer, I sensed that an accident had occurred and suggested to my driver that we stop. The scene before us has remained with me for these many years.
“An old shepherd, in the long, flowing robes of the Savior’s day, was standing near the limousine in conversation with the driver. Nearby, I noted a small flock of sheep numbering not more than fifteen or twenty. An accident had occurred. The king’s vehicle had struck and injured one of the sheep belonging to the old shepherd. The driver of the vehicle was explaining to him the law of the land. Because the king’s vehicle had injured one of the sheep belonging to the old shepherd, he was now entitled to one hundred times its value at maturity. However, under the same law, the injured sheep must be slain and the meat divided among the people. My interpreter hastily added, ‘But the old shepherd will not accept the money. They never do.’
“Startled, I asked him why. And he added, ‘Because of the love he has for each of his sheep.’ It was then that I noticed the old shepherd reach down, lift the injured lamb in his arms, and place it in a large pouch on the front of his robe. He kept stroking its head, repeating the same word over and over again. When I asked the meaning of the word, I was informed, ‘Oh, he is calling it by name. All of his sheep have a name, for he is their shepherd, and the good shepherds know each one of their sheep by name.’
“It was as my driver predicted. The money was refused, and the old shepherd with his small flock of sheep, with the injured one tucked safely in the pouch on his robe, disappeared into the beautiful deserts of Morocco.”
There are some clear parallels between the way this Moroccan shepherd treated his lambs and the way we know the Good Shepherd treats each of us. Like the shepherd in this story, Christ knows our name, our situation, our needs.
We know He will pay any price to keep us—because He has already paid that most horrible of prices for us. And just as the Moroccan picked up, cradled and comforted the wounded sheep, our Savior binds our wounds, comforts us and heals us in the loving way that only He can. President Hinckley has said, “When [every] other love fades, there will be that shining, transcendent, everlasting love of God for each of us and the love of His Son, who gave His life for us.”
In between Gethsemane and the Cross, Christ stood before Pilate, a Roman Leader who would decide whether to crucify Jesus. Jesus begged not for his life.
Rather, he simply said, “To this end was I born and for this cause came I into the world” (John 18:37). He came to redeem, and no Roman leader or any man would interfere with Christ fulfilling the awful requirements of being our Redeemer. Think about that some more. Instead of a reprieve, Christ states his desire to give His life. “To this end was I born and for this cause came I into the world” (John 18:37).
Think about that next month when we celebrate His birth. When we celebrate Christmas, we aren’t just celebrating a birth—We are celebrating the life, ministry, and Great Sacrifice of our Savior. We are celebrating His acceptance of His role in the plan of salvation. We are celebrating His great unmatched, unparalleled love that proved to be the catalyst of His Atoning Sacrifice. The rest of us came to Earth to prove ourselves; He came to redeem.
The more you study and learn of Christ, the more you will want to celebrate Christ. President Ezra Taft Benson once said: “Without Christ there would be no Christmas, and without Christ there can be no fulness of joy.” President Hinckley elaborated on that, when he said, “We honor His birth. But without His death that birth would have been but one more birth. It was the redemption which He worked out in the Garden of Gethsemane and upon the cross of Calvary which made His gift immortal, universal, and everlasting.”
President Hinckley said: “This is the wondrous and true story of Christmas. The birth of Jesus in Bethlehem of Judea is preface. The three-year ministry of the Master is prologue. The magnificent substance of the story is His sacrifice, the totally selfless act of dying in pain on the cross of Calvary to atone for the sins of all of us. The epilogue is the miracle of the Resurrection, bringing the assurance that ‘as in Adam all die, even so in Christ shall all be made alive’.”
After volunteering in the Grand Council in Heaven to be our Savior, Christ came and organized our Earth. And then, in a stable, He came to fulfill his greatest responsibility that of Atoner. And, in that way, Christmas is a promise kept.
For 33 years, the Creator of this Earth dwelt on this Earth. For 33 years, he lived a spotless life, keeping Himself qualified to be our Savior. 33 years of sinless living. That’s incredible. I doubt I could live a spotless life for 33 minutes, if my life depended on it. And he lived a virtuous life for 33 years, and my life did depend on it.
For three years, He ministered. In those three years, He gave us the wonderful teachings found in the Gospels, and set his life as an example to all those would follow. He established His church and organized its priesthood.
But his greatest work came in Gethsemane and on the Cross.
One LDS scholar put it this way:
“Human nature makes us want to quantify, to measure the atonement of Christ, but his ordeal is off any scale; it is beyond our comprehension. Jesus bore not just the sins of the world, but the sorrow, pains, and sicknesses of the world.
“All the negative aspects of human existence brought about by the Fall, Jesus Christ absorbed into himself. He experienced vicariously in Gethsemane all the private griefs and heartaches, all the physical pains and handicaps, all the emotional burdens and depressions of the human family. He knows the loneliness of those who don’t fit in or who aren’t handsome or pretty. He knows what it’s like to choose up teams and be the last one chosen. He knows the anguish of parents who children go wrong … He knows all these things personally and intimately because He lived them in the Gethsemane experience. Having personally lived a perfect life, he then chose to experience our imperfect lives. In that infinite Gethsemane experience, the meridian of time, the center of eternity, he lived a billion billion lifetimes of pain, disease and sorrow.
“God uses no magic wand to simply wave bad things into nonexistence. The sins that he remits, he remits by making them his own and suffering them. The pain and heartaches that he relieves, he relieves by suffering them himself. Those things can be shared and absorbed, but they cannot be simply washed or wished away. They must be suffered. Thus we owe him not only for our spiritual cleansing from sin, but for our physical, mental and emotional healings as well, for he has borne these infirmities for us also. All that the Fall put wrong, the Savior in his atonement puts right. It is all part of his infinite sacrifice—of his infinite gift” (Stephen E. Robinson).
All of that was experienced by Christ for you. For me. For all of us. Indeed, the Son of Man hath descended below them all. Can we hear such a description of Christ’s Atonement and doubt that He loves us? We know he does. He has proven it. “Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends” (John 15:13).
No description can come close to quantifying the awfulness of that night—the dreadful sufferings Christ had to make on our behalf. But we can see that in order to make an infinite atonement, Christ’s love for us also had to be infinite.
Can you read about Christ, can you study his life, can you study Gethsemane and the Cross and not come away with the knowledge that He loves you? And can you not also see that those experiences did indeed qualify him to be both your Redeemer and your Friend? Can you heed the call Christ made to each of his through his prophet Alma: “And now I say unto you, all you that are desirous to follow the voice of the good shepherd, come ye out from the wicked, and be ye separate, and touch not their unclean things ... And now I say unto you that the good shepherd doth call after you; and if you will hearken unto his voice he will bring you into his fold, and ye are his sheep” (Alma 5:57, 60)? I declare that He is our Savior, and that He loves us and that invites all to come unto Him. This is the truth testified of by Nephi: “[Christ] inviteth them all to come unto him and partake of his goodness; and he denieth none that come unto him” (2 Nephi 26:33).
The Good Shepherd is calling unto all of us to follow Him, for He is the way, the truth and the life. It is by Him that we will be resurrected. It is only through Him that we can return to live with our Heavenly Father. It is only through Him that we can attain forgiveness and a renewal of the Soul. It is only through Him that the families are eternal. And it is only through Him that the love that exists between couples and families is made eternal. It is only through Him that we will have our happily ever after. I pray that you will give room to Him in your heart and turn your life over to Him.
Said President Benson: “Christ’s great gift to us was His life and sacrifice. Should that not then be our small gift to Him—our lives and sacrifices, not only now but in the future? … Yes, men and women who turn their lives over to God will discover that He can make a lot more out of their lives than they can. He will deepen their joys, expand their vision, quicken their minds, strengthen their muscles, lift their spirits, multiply their blessings, increase their opportunities, comfort their souls, raise up friends, and pour out peace. Whoever will lose his life in the service of God will find eternal life.”
I want to repeat one of those lines by President Benson: “Men and women who turn their lives over to God will discover that He can make a lot more out of their lives than they can.”
I told you earlier this week I interviewed Bishop Shepherd, and I want to share a portion of that interview with you because you will see in it how Bishop Shepherd has benefited from turning his life over to Christ. This is what Bishop Shepherd told me: “I can tell you that all the good things that have happened in my life have happened because I've tried to do the right thing: going on a mission, where to go to school, who to marry, where to live. Most of my opportunities in life have come because I tried to be faithful. The biggest thing that has helped me is my wife; she has kept me on the strait-and-narrow path. The Lord has been very, very good to me, and part of the reason I enjoy being a bishop is that I've been given a lot, and I get to give back.”
Then Bishop Shepherd described what happens to people when they follow Christ: “They maintain a perspective and hope, and they can deal with life's ups and downs a lot better than someone who doesn't have that inner compass. If you're grounded in Christ, you're going to be better able to weather the storms and be much happier.”
The call of the Good Shepherd has gone forth; today is the day to come unto Christ. Again, I remind you of the words of Alma: “And now I say unto you, all you that are desirous to follow the voice of the good shepherd, come ye out from the wicked, and be ye separate, and touch not their unclean things” (Alma 5:57). Come unto Christ.
Resolve to be better. Get away from those habits, those people and those sins that seek to take you away from Him. Separate yourself from those who drag you down. Separate yourself from those who chase the Spirit from your life by their words or actions. Separate yourself from your own thoughts or deeds that drive out the Spirit and put distance between you and Christ. I don’t know your individual circumstance, but you do, and Christ does. And I’ll bet if you listen He will tell you how to come unto Him—what sins you need to repent of, what habits you need to shed, what friends you need to replace. But this much I do know: You will never find happiness when you are apart from Christ; you will only find true, real lasting happiness when you draw near unto Him. This is my testimony and promise because it has been my experience—if you want to be happy, come unto Christ.
Tuesday, July 04, 2006
Poisonous Pride
When David slew Goliath, Saul, the king of the Israelites, was initially thrilled. After all, David had just saved Saul’s kingdom. Saul rewarded David. He put him in charge of some of his armies, and David continued to have success. But whatever good feelings there were Saul and David were about to take a deplorable turn. Those initial good feelings Saul had for David were changed by … of all things … a song.
Let’s imagine things from Saul’s perspective:
When the king and David returned to Israel from battle, the women of Israel gathered to greet them. Saul no doubt enjoyed this. Then they began to sing a song, “Saul hath slain his thousands” (1 King 18:7) … Saul was probably thinking, “Ye-ah, they are recognizing me for the great warrior I am.” And … then … the women sing “and David his ten thousands.” (1 Kings 18:7) And it is on that little song: “Saul hath slain his thousands, and David his ten thousands” (1 Kings 18:7) that the relationship between Saul and David changes.
We read: “And Saul was very wroth, and the saying displeased him; and he said, They have ascribed unto David ten thousands, and to me they have ascribed but thousands: and what can he have more but the kingdom?
“And Saul eyed David from that day and forward” (1 Kings 18:8-9).
What caused Saul to change his perspective on David? David did nothing wrong, yet Saul now envied him. Saul’s envy was a direct result of Saul’s pride. He couldn’t stand to share the spotlight. And Saul began to worry that David’s popularity was undermining Saul’s position as king. The venom of envy and pride flowed quickly through Saul’s veins and sunk deep into his heart. Just one day after the women of Israel sang the song that created such jealousy in Saul’s heart—jealousy began controlling Saul. Saul tried to kill David by throwing a javelin at him. He missed twice. These misses had an effect on Saul, as we read: “And Saul was afraid of David, because the LORD was with him, and was departed from Saul” (1 Kings 18:12). Saul wisely realizes that Lord is with David, and the Lord is not with Saul. What would be a good thing for Saul to do here? Should he either (A) repent and come unto Christ and be reconciled with God so that God is with him, as God is with David, or (B) Should Saul continue to try to kill the innocent David; and, in so doing, allow his pride and envy rule his actions?
Saul chose to keep trying to kill David.
In his famous talk on pride, President Ezra Taft Benson gives Saul a dubious distinction—a mention as one in the scriptures who fell because of his pride. Said President Benson: “Saul became an enemy to David through pride. He was jealous because the crowds of Israelite women were singing that “Saul hath slain his thousands, and David his ten thousands.” ( 1 Sam. 18:6–8.).”
President Benson then lists the characteristics of the proud:
“The proud stand more in fear of men’s judgment than of God’s judgment. (See D&C 3:6–7; D&C 30:1–2; D&C 60:2.) “What will men think of me?” weighs heavier than “What will God think of me?”
“Fear of men’s judgment manifests itself in competition for men’s approval. The proud love “the praise of men more than the praise of God.” ( John 12:42–43.)
Well, that description fits Saul. Looking at his history, we see he did fear men’s judgment more than God’s. That problem was shown in the battle against the Amalekites, when Saul didn’t, as the Lord commanded had commanded him, destroy everything the Amalekites had. Instead, Saul, at the request of his soldiers, saved some sheep to sacrifice. Later, Saul told Samuel: “I have sinned: for I have transgressed the commandment of the LORD, and thy words: because I feared the people, and obeyed their voice” (1 Samuel 15:24).
We are now viewing Saul some years later after Saul’s misstep with the Amalekites. Remember President Benson has told us: “Fear of men’s judgment manifests itself in competition for men’s approval.” Here, Saul is still living for the praise of men. There are three things I find interesting about Saul’s jealous attempts to kill David over the lyrics of song.
First, Saul had been praised in that song! The song wasn’t putting him down; it was complimenting him. But what made Saul particularly angrily was this: David received the prominent praise. Ultimately, Saul coveted the praise David had received. Saul took David’s success as a personal affront and believed the praise David received somehow insulted him.
Second, the song didn’t mention—at all—another great Israelite warrior, Jonathan, Saul’s son. Did this depress Jonathan or make him feel jealous of David? No. Should Jonathan have been worried that it might be David, instead of Jonathan, who would day be the king of the Israelites? It doesn’t appear that he was. Instead of focusing on power and glory, Jonathan was first concerned with the well-being of his friend. In fact, Jonathan was David’s best friend. We are told: “the soul of Jonathan was knit with the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul” (1 Kings 18:1).
Finally, Saul’s pride caused him to turn a friend into a foe. David was his loyal subject, not his enemy. But so great was Saul’s pride that he mistook David as a rival. What Saul is displaying here is enmity. And, in a story, which focuses on the great friendship and loyalty that existed between David and Jonathan, it is appropriate that the antagonist Saul prevents himself from joining in that brotherhood because of his pride and the enmity he feels toward David. President Benson said, “The central feature of pride is enmity—enmity toward God and enmity toward our fellowmen. Enmity means “hatred toward, hostility to, or a state of opposition.” It is the power by which Satan wishes to reign over us. Pride is essentially competitive in nature.” To me, enmity describes the act of creating barriers to exalt ourselves above our neighbor. Enmity is the selfish pursuit of positions, possessions and praise that we then use to say, “Look, who I am! Look what I have! I am better than my neighbor.” This attitude is a violation of the second great commandment: “To love thy neighbor as thyself” (Matthew 22:39).
Enmity strikes at brotherhood; it destroys friendships. When friends compete against each other rather than try and help each other, those friends reap only bitterness and dissatisfaction. What a sad think it is, when friends make adversaries of each other.
Said President Benson: “The proud make every man their adversary by pitting their intellects, opinions, works, wealth, talents, or any other worldly measuring device against others. In the words of C. S. Lewis: “Pride gets no pleasure out of having something, only out of having more of it than the next man. … It is the comparison that makes you proud: the pleasure of being above the rest. Once the element of competition has gone, pride has gone.” (Mere Christianity, New York: Macmillan, 1952, pp. 109–10.)
Said Elder Jeffrey R. Holland: “Who is it that whispers so subtly in our ear that a gift given to another somehow diminishes the blessings we have received? Who makes us feel that if God is smiling on another, then He surely must somehow be frowning on us? You and I both know who does this—it is the father of all lies.” The tendency to feel threatened by another’s success or to covet another’s blessings or talents is a device employed by Satan to make us feel uneasy about ourselves. Likewise, Satan tries to get us to focus on what is wrong in others—attempting to make us feel superior to them. Both tendencies—the tendency to feel dismayed over another’s success and the tendency to feel superior over another’s failures—are born of enmity. Self-exaltation is not in the gospel plan. But it was in the plan of Satan, who sought exalt himself above God. The gospel plan is not for us to race against each other, but to finish with each other. The gospel plan would have us focus on our fellow being’s needs, not his flaws. The gospel plan would have us be others-minded rather than self-focused.
Perhaps the best example in the scriptures of what happens when we begin competing with our neighbor comes from the Zoramites. The Zoramites had split off from a church and founded a new church. The central act of worshiping in this new church was for the wealthy members of the Zoramite city to climb a high tower called the Rameumpton—and note that the climbing of this high tower is representative of the Zoramites’ exalting themselves. And once on top of this Rameumpton, they offered up a proud with a loud voice—the central theme of this prayer was this: We are so much better than those Nephites who believe in Christ! So here they were, standing on the top of this tower of self-exaltation, yelling about how superior they were and how fortunate they were to be separated from their brethren (Alma 31). Later, Alma would tell his Shiblon, one of his companions on this mission: “Do not pray as the Zoramites do, for ye have seen that they pray to be heard of men, and to be praised for their wisdom” (Alma 38:13).
“Yea, and [Alma] also saw that their hearts were lifted up unto great boasting, in their pride” (Alma 31: 25).
Boasting wasn’t the Zoramites’ greatest sin. They had become so obsessed with their pursuit of wealth and praise that they looked down on the poor of their city. The Zoramites cast the poor out of the churches because the wealthy Zoramites were embarrassed that the poor dressed like they were … poor.
To me, the Zoramites represent snobbery. Listen to their types of snobbery and see if we don’t have these problems today: First, they were guilty of fashion snobbery: The unfashionable were not welcome in their society. Second: they were guilty of intellectual snobbery: The Zoramites looked down on those who believed in Christ, and thought the Church members only believed what they did because they were too dumb and too stupid to address religious matters intellectually. Finally, the Zoramites were guilty of class snobbery: Because they had more than the poor, the wealthy Zoramites believed themselves to be superior. Snobbery is enmity. The Zoramites were so busy competing against the poor in their city that they began to resent them and hate them and cast them out—much in the same way Saul treated David.
Certainly, there are all kinds of snobbery, all sorts of reasons why people exalt themselves in their own eyes. President Benson said, "Some prideful people are not so concerned as to whether their wages meet their needs as they are that their wages are more than someone else's." Most people find some reason to feel superior. "I'm better than you because I can bench press a Chevy." "I'm better than you because I'm from Kanab." Or "I'm better than you because I recycle." These are all fine things-to bench press a Chevy or to recycle or to be from Kanab. But the problem comes when we use the traits and blessings we have to build our own Rameumptons, where we can declare our superiority. These Rameumptons become barriers that prevent us from having better friendships.
While on the Rameumpton, we are too caught up in our own lives to be aware of our friends and their needs. If we're too busy breaking an arm to pat ourselves on the back, we won't be sensitive to the times a friend needs an arm put around them.
Of all the things President Benson said in his talk on pride, there’s one sentence I find the most intriguing, “[Pride] is manifest in so many ways, such as … withholding gratitude and praise that might lift another, and being unforgiving and jealous.” Think about that. The proud cannot pass along praise. They cannot pass along gratitude. But they can hold onto grudges. Why? Because if they praise someone or tell someone they are grateful for what that person did for them, that person might feel better about themselves. And if a competitor feels better, then the race is going to be tighter.
The proud are so busy competing that they don’t have time to be loving. But they have time to hold a grudge. They have time to gossip and to insult. These kinds of people are the ones Nephi said take the attitude that says “Dig a pit for thy neighbor; there is no harm in this” (2 Nephi 28:8). There are so many willing to dig pits for their neighbor. But how many are willing to fill in that pit and smooth out the road in front of their neighbor—removing the rocks and other stumbling blocks that can trip up their neighbor.
What kind of friend do you want? The kind who digs a pit for you, or the kind who blazes a smooth trail for you?
Be the kind of friend you want to have. Obviously, the point here is to remember that we are here to help our fellow being, not to beat them. With that in mind, let’s take a few seconds and honestly answer some questions to ourselves:
Ø Is there someone I need to forgive? If there is, forsake your pride and forgive that person. No one has ever been more mistreated than was our Christ. And yet, on the cross, he prayed for and forgave those who had nailed him to that cross, who had slashed his sides and who spat on him and insulted him. Christ forgave, so can we.
Ø Is there someone I need to praise? If there is, go ahead and tell them why you think they are so great? How un-Christlike is it to withhold from your friends praise they need to hear. Everyone needs to be complimented from time-to-time. Make sure your friends never suffer the indignity of low self-esteem because you were too proud to tell them what is good about them.
Ø Is there someone for whom you are grateful? If there is, call them or e-mail them or write them today and let them know how they’ve impacted your life. When a person does something to help you, there should always be a thank you. Likewise, you should thank your Heavenly Father for what gifts he has given you. You might remember that Christ once healed 10 lepers, but only one returned to thank Him. Christ said, “Were there not ten cleansed? but where are the nine? There are not found that returned to give glory to God, save this stranger” (Luke 17:7-8). Think back to your life. Have you ever prayed for something and had that prayer answered? When it was answered, did you think to thank God for hearing your prayer?
I believe there are three antidotes for pride, and gratitude is the first. Realizing how much God has done for you and much you truly depend on him is humbling. Remembering what God has done for you is the perfect antidote to pride. As you do so, you will come to realize some things: first, you will realize just how loved you are by God; second, you will come to know that you are His child, created in His image; and, finally, the more you come to know Him, the more you will realize how much work you still have to do to become like Him, and you will become so grateful that the Atonement of Jesus Christ makes up the difference.
The second antidote is to serve others. When you begin focusing on others’ needs instead of your own, then you will have no time for pride, and there will be no room for pride in your heart. What makes God so great isn’t all the principalities and powers He has, but the endless, infinite, eternal love He has for His children. God puts His children first—it is His work and his glory to see that they qualify to become like Him, so that he can share His principalities and powers with them. There are many places reserved for His children to share in His kingdom. He is not seeking to compete with his children; rather, he is trying to build them. He is inclusive, not exclusionary. We should do the same and think of others before we think of ourselves.
Finally, the third antidote is love. To first love yourself enough that you recognize the good there is in you and you don’t feel insecure over the struggles you have. And also to love yourself enough to base your self-esteem not on your positions or your possessions, but who you are, as a child of God. And also to love others because they are children of God—and to do what you can to help make their journey in life a little easier by brightening their path. This was the kind of friend Jonathan was. And that is why: “the soul of Jonathan was knit with the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul” (1 Kings 18:1). If you’re that type of friend to your friends, whether you have a few or many, the friends you do will love you; their hearts will be knit with yours—and you will be blessed with one of the best things you can have in this life: A true friend.
Let’s imagine things from Saul’s perspective:
When the king and David returned to Israel from battle, the women of Israel gathered to greet them. Saul no doubt enjoyed this. Then they began to sing a song, “Saul hath slain his thousands” (1 King 18:7) … Saul was probably thinking, “Ye-ah, they are recognizing me for the great warrior I am.” And … then … the women sing “and David his ten thousands.” (1 Kings 18:7) And it is on that little song: “Saul hath slain his thousands, and David his ten thousands” (1 Kings 18:7) that the relationship between Saul and David changes.
We read: “And Saul was very wroth, and the saying displeased him; and he said, They have ascribed unto David ten thousands, and to me they have ascribed but thousands: and what can he have more but the kingdom?
“And Saul eyed David from that day and forward” (1 Kings 18:8-9).
What caused Saul to change his perspective on David? David did nothing wrong, yet Saul now envied him. Saul’s envy was a direct result of Saul’s pride. He couldn’t stand to share the spotlight. And Saul began to worry that David’s popularity was undermining Saul’s position as king. The venom of envy and pride flowed quickly through Saul’s veins and sunk deep into his heart. Just one day after the women of Israel sang the song that created such jealousy in Saul’s heart—jealousy began controlling Saul. Saul tried to kill David by throwing a javelin at him. He missed twice. These misses had an effect on Saul, as we read: “And Saul was afraid of David, because the LORD was with him, and was departed from Saul” (1 Kings 18:12). Saul wisely realizes that Lord is with David, and the Lord is not with Saul. What would be a good thing for Saul to do here? Should he either (A) repent and come unto Christ and be reconciled with God so that God is with him, as God is with David, or (B) Should Saul continue to try to kill the innocent David; and, in so doing, allow his pride and envy rule his actions?
Saul chose to keep trying to kill David.
In his famous talk on pride, President Ezra Taft Benson gives Saul a dubious distinction—a mention as one in the scriptures who fell because of his pride. Said President Benson: “Saul became an enemy to David through pride. He was jealous because the crowds of Israelite women were singing that “Saul hath slain his thousands, and David his ten thousands.” ( 1 Sam. 18:6–8.).”
President Benson then lists the characteristics of the proud:
“The proud stand more in fear of men’s judgment than of God’s judgment. (See D&C 3:6–7; D&C 30:1–2; D&C 60:2.) “What will men think of me?” weighs heavier than “What will God think of me?”
“Fear of men’s judgment manifests itself in competition for men’s approval. The proud love “the praise of men more than the praise of God.” ( John 12:42–43.)
Well, that description fits Saul. Looking at his history, we see he did fear men’s judgment more than God’s. That problem was shown in the battle against the Amalekites, when Saul didn’t, as the Lord commanded had commanded him, destroy everything the Amalekites had. Instead, Saul, at the request of his soldiers, saved some sheep to sacrifice. Later, Saul told Samuel: “I have sinned: for I have transgressed the commandment of the LORD, and thy words: because I feared the people, and obeyed their voice” (1 Samuel 15:24).
We are now viewing Saul some years later after Saul’s misstep with the Amalekites. Remember President Benson has told us: “Fear of men’s judgment manifests itself in competition for men’s approval.” Here, Saul is still living for the praise of men. There are three things I find interesting about Saul’s jealous attempts to kill David over the lyrics of song.
First, Saul had been praised in that song! The song wasn’t putting him down; it was complimenting him. But what made Saul particularly angrily was this: David received the prominent praise. Ultimately, Saul coveted the praise David had received. Saul took David’s success as a personal affront and believed the praise David received somehow insulted him.
Second, the song didn’t mention—at all—another great Israelite warrior, Jonathan, Saul’s son. Did this depress Jonathan or make him feel jealous of David? No. Should Jonathan have been worried that it might be David, instead of Jonathan, who would day be the king of the Israelites? It doesn’t appear that he was. Instead of focusing on power and glory, Jonathan was first concerned with the well-being of his friend. In fact, Jonathan was David’s best friend. We are told: “the soul of Jonathan was knit with the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul” (1 Kings 18:1).
Finally, Saul’s pride caused him to turn a friend into a foe. David was his loyal subject, not his enemy. But so great was Saul’s pride that he mistook David as a rival. What Saul is displaying here is enmity. And, in a story, which focuses on the great friendship and loyalty that existed between David and Jonathan, it is appropriate that the antagonist Saul prevents himself from joining in that brotherhood because of his pride and the enmity he feels toward David. President Benson said, “The central feature of pride is enmity—enmity toward God and enmity toward our fellowmen. Enmity means “hatred toward, hostility to, or a state of opposition.” It is the power by which Satan wishes to reign over us. Pride is essentially competitive in nature.” To me, enmity describes the act of creating barriers to exalt ourselves above our neighbor. Enmity is the selfish pursuit of positions, possessions and praise that we then use to say, “Look, who I am! Look what I have! I am better than my neighbor.” This attitude is a violation of the second great commandment: “To love thy neighbor as thyself” (Matthew 22:39).
Enmity strikes at brotherhood; it destroys friendships. When friends compete against each other rather than try and help each other, those friends reap only bitterness and dissatisfaction. What a sad think it is, when friends make adversaries of each other.
Said President Benson: “The proud make every man their adversary by pitting their intellects, opinions, works, wealth, talents, or any other worldly measuring device against others. In the words of C. S. Lewis: “Pride gets no pleasure out of having something, only out of having more of it than the next man. … It is the comparison that makes you proud: the pleasure of being above the rest. Once the element of competition has gone, pride has gone.” (Mere Christianity, New York: Macmillan, 1952, pp. 109–10.)
Said Elder Jeffrey R. Holland: “Who is it that whispers so subtly in our ear that a gift given to another somehow diminishes the blessings we have received? Who makes us feel that if God is smiling on another, then He surely must somehow be frowning on us? You and I both know who does this—it is the father of all lies.” The tendency to feel threatened by another’s success or to covet another’s blessings or talents is a device employed by Satan to make us feel uneasy about ourselves. Likewise, Satan tries to get us to focus on what is wrong in others—attempting to make us feel superior to them. Both tendencies—the tendency to feel dismayed over another’s success and the tendency to feel superior over another’s failures—are born of enmity. Self-exaltation is not in the gospel plan. But it was in the plan of Satan, who sought exalt himself above God. The gospel plan is not for us to race against each other, but to finish with each other. The gospel plan would have us focus on our fellow being’s needs, not his flaws. The gospel plan would have us be others-minded rather than self-focused.
Perhaps the best example in the scriptures of what happens when we begin competing with our neighbor comes from the Zoramites. The Zoramites had split off from a church and founded a new church. The central act of worshiping in this new church was for the wealthy members of the Zoramite city to climb a high tower called the Rameumpton—and note that the climbing of this high tower is representative of the Zoramites’ exalting themselves. And once on top of this Rameumpton, they offered up a proud with a loud voice—the central theme of this prayer was this: We are so much better than those Nephites who believe in Christ! So here they were, standing on the top of this tower of self-exaltation, yelling about how superior they were and how fortunate they were to be separated from their brethren (Alma 31). Later, Alma would tell his Shiblon, one of his companions on this mission: “Do not pray as the Zoramites do, for ye have seen that they pray to be heard of men, and to be praised for their wisdom” (Alma 38:13).
“Yea, and [Alma] also saw that their hearts were lifted up unto great boasting, in their pride” (Alma 31: 25).
Boasting wasn’t the Zoramites’ greatest sin. They had become so obsessed with their pursuit of wealth and praise that they looked down on the poor of their city. The Zoramites cast the poor out of the churches because the wealthy Zoramites were embarrassed that the poor dressed like they were … poor.
To me, the Zoramites represent snobbery. Listen to their types of snobbery and see if we don’t have these problems today: First, they were guilty of fashion snobbery: The unfashionable were not welcome in their society. Second: they were guilty of intellectual snobbery: The Zoramites looked down on those who believed in Christ, and thought the Church members only believed what they did because they were too dumb and too stupid to address religious matters intellectually. Finally, the Zoramites were guilty of class snobbery: Because they had more than the poor, the wealthy Zoramites believed themselves to be superior. Snobbery is enmity. The Zoramites were so busy competing against the poor in their city that they began to resent them and hate them and cast them out—much in the same way Saul treated David.
Certainly, there are all kinds of snobbery, all sorts of reasons why people exalt themselves in their own eyes. President Benson said, "Some prideful people are not so concerned as to whether their wages meet their needs as they are that their wages are more than someone else's." Most people find some reason to feel superior. "I'm better than you because I can bench press a Chevy." "I'm better than you because I'm from Kanab." Or "I'm better than you because I recycle." These are all fine things-to bench press a Chevy or to recycle or to be from Kanab. But the problem comes when we use the traits and blessings we have to build our own Rameumptons, where we can declare our superiority. These Rameumptons become barriers that prevent us from having better friendships.
While on the Rameumpton, we are too caught up in our own lives to be aware of our friends and their needs. If we're too busy breaking an arm to pat ourselves on the back, we won't be sensitive to the times a friend needs an arm put around them.
Of all the things President Benson said in his talk on pride, there’s one sentence I find the most intriguing, “[Pride] is manifest in so many ways, such as … withholding gratitude and praise that might lift another, and being unforgiving and jealous.” Think about that. The proud cannot pass along praise. They cannot pass along gratitude. But they can hold onto grudges. Why? Because if they praise someone or tell someone they are grateful for what that person did for them, that person might feel better about themselves. And if a competitor feels better, then the race is going to be tighter.
The proud are so busy competing that they don’t have time to be loving. But they have time to hold a grudge. They have time to gossip and to insult. These kinds of people are the ones Nephi said take the attitude that says “Dig a pit for thy neighbor; there is no harm in this” (2 Nephi 28:8). There are so many willing to dig pits for their neighbor. But how many are willing to fill in that pit and smooth out the road in front of their neighbor—removing the rocks and other stumbling blocks that can trip up their neighbor.
What kind of friend do you want? The kind who digs a pit for you, or the kind who blazes a smooth trail for you?
Be the kind of friend you want to have. Obviously, the point here is to remember that we are here to help our fellow being, not to beat them. With that in mind, let’s take a few seconds and honestly answer some questions to ourselves:
Ø Is there someone I need to forgive? If there is, forsake your pride and forgive that person. No one has ever been more mistreated than was our Christ. And yet, on the cross, he prayed for and forgave those who had nailed him to that cross, who had slashed his sides and who spat on him and insulted him. Christ forgave, so can we.
Ø Is there someone I need to praise? If there is, go ahead and tell them why you think they are so great? How un-Christlike is it to withhold from your friends praise they need to hear. Everyone needs to be complimented from time-to-time. Make sure your friends never suffer the indignity of low self-esteem because you were too proud to tell them what is good about them.
Ø Is there someone for whom you are grateful? If there is, call them or e-mail them or write them today and let them know how they’ve impacted your life. When a person does something to help you, there should always be a thank you. Likewise, you should thank your Heavenly Father for what gifts he has given you. You might remember that Christ once healed 10 lepers, but only one returned to thank Him. Christ said, “Were there not ten cleansed? but where are the nine? There are not found that returned to give glory to God, save this stranger” (Luke 17:7-8). Think back to your life. Have you ever prayed for something and had that prayer answered? When it was answered, did you think to thank God for hearing your prayer?
I believe there are three antidotes for pride, and gratitude is the first. Realizing how much God has done for you and much you truly depend on him is humbling. Remembering what God has done for you is the perfect antidote to pride. As you do so, you will come to realize some things: first, you will realize just how loved you are by God; second, you will come to know that you are His child, created in His image; and, finally, the more you come to know Him, the more you will realize how much work you still have to do to become like Him, and you will become so grateful that the Atonement of Jesus Christ makes up the difference.
The second antidote is to serve others. When you begin focusing on others’ needs instead of your own, then you will have no time for pride, and there will be no room for pride in your heart. What makes God so great isn’t all the principalities and powers He has, but the endless, infinite, eternal love He has for His children. God puts His children first—it is His work and his glory to see that they qualify to become like Him, so that he can share His principalities and powers with them. There are many places reserved for His children to share in His kingdom. He is not seeking to compete with his children; rather, he is trying to build them. He is inclusive, not exclusionary. We should do the same and think of others before we think of ourselves.
Finally, the third antidote is love. To first love yourself enough that you recognize the good there is in you and you don’t feel insecure over the struggles you have. And also to love yourself enough to base your self-esteem not on your positions or your possessions, but who you are, as a child of God. And also to love others because they are children of God—and to do what you can to help make their journey in life a little easier by brightening their path. This was the kind of friend Jonathan was. And that is why: “the soul of Jonathan was knit with the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul” (1 Kings 18:1). If you’re that type of friend to your friends, whether you have a few or many, the friends you do will love you; their hearts will be knit with yours—and you will be blessed with one of the best things you can have in this life: A true friend.
Motorcycle Riders make the best friends
A few years ago, I attended the missionary farewell of my friend, Rachael. The chapel was full of the many friends that Rachael had acquired over the years. She had been a great friend. The kind of friend you want to have. And many had had that blessing of being her friend. And I guess that’s why her farewell talk, given to a chapel filled with her friends was such a surprise and so memorable. She told us that when she was just starting middle school, she didn’t have any friends. And she prayed every night that Heavenly Father would just give her a friend. Months passed, and still she didn’t have any friends. She felt very lonely. She worried she’d never have a friend. But then, one night, she received an impression, “If you want to have a friend, you first have to be a friend.” So Rachael changed. Instead of holding back, she became the kind of friend she wanted to have—kind, outgoing, approachable, etc. The many friends she had at the time of her farewell spoke as to how well Rachael followed that impression.
I think there are so many who, at one time or another, face that same situation. I certainly have been blessed to know many days when I was surrounded by friends. But I have likewise endured days where I felt lonely and friendless and prayed, like Rachael prayed, that I would have a friend reach out to me. The Golden Rule, as taught by the Savior tells us: “All things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them” (3 Nephi 14:12, see also Matthew 7:12). Apply that to friendship, and we get this, The Golden Rule of Friendship: Be the kind of friend you want to have.
Of all the people who need to hear that message, I am probably the one who needs to hear it the most. I am one who enjoys being reached out to, but I hesitate to reach out to others.
Let me demonstrate this with a story. It was my first day at SUU last August. I felt very out of place. On the drive up, I quickly and effectively convinced myself that I wouldn’t make any friends there. As I drove into Cedar, I felt so inadequate. I felt so dumb. And I felt like no one would like me. I so convinced myself that I would flunk out of SUU in a matter of weeks, that I came up with a plan that would ensure none of my classmates would be able to remember my name once I flunked out. My plan was simple: I wouldn’t talk to anyone.
So I planned things just right. I arrived at the classroom just as the class started, and seated myself alone at a table, away from everyone. I was so relieved that no one was sitting by me. That relief lasted all of two minutes. That’s when a latecomer straggled in, walked over to my table, put his motorcycle helmet on the table and sat down.
I was really mad that this guy had invaded my space and cost me the buffer zone I had won through my cunning.
“Oh, great!” thought I, “now, I am stuck, sitting at the table with, of all people, a motorcycle rider.”
The class lasted three hours, and it goes on and on and on. But halfway through the class period, we take a 10-minute break. So, as soon as we take the break, I dart out into the hall and begin wandering aimlessly. I go to the drinking fountain. It was water unfit for a third-world country. It tasted like dirt. And I think it was dirt. So I wandered around mindlessly for a few minutes before I absent-mindedly tried to the drinking fountain again. Big mistake! I realized that if I didn’t sit down, I would keep drinking from the dirt. Not wanting to inhale a quart of dirt, I decided I should return to the room and sit down.
Well, the motorcycle rider was still there. I really didn’t want to talk to him because motorcycle riders always have ego issues. But I realized I now had no choice. So I introduced myself and we started talking. Long story short we became good friends; in fact, he became my best friend in the program, and I really have enjoyed working with him on numerous projects and presentations.
About six months after we first met, Robert, the motorcycle rider, and I were in a class where the professor sat the whole class in a circle. Then, we went around the circle, saying what we enjoyed or admired about the other people in the class. Eventually, it was Robert’s turn to say something nice to me. He listed off a few attributes, and then, he said, “The thing I remember about Steve is that first day of class. I was sitting there and I felt so inadequate. I felt so dumb. And I felt like no one would like me. But then Steve started talking to me and helped me to relax and realize that everything was going to be OK.”
In other words, the same anxieties I had that first day were the same anxieties Robert had. I had misjudged him. I had thought him to be some egomaniac biker, but really he is one of the nicest guys there is. And like me, he just needed someone that day to reach out to him.
And even though I still struggle to reach out to people, I am glad that on that one day, at least, I was the kind of friend I want to have.
Said Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin: “It's easy to find excuses for not reaching out to others, but I imagine they will sound as hollow to our Heavenly Father as the elementary school boy who gave his teacher a note asking that he be excused from school March 30th through the 34th.” One of things we can learn from my experience that Robert is that just because someone rides a motorcycle, it’s no reason for us to not be their friend.
I am so grateful for the friends who have reached out to me when I needed it most. Like most people, I don’t advertise when I’m feeling lonely. And like most people, I just hope and pray someone will reach out to me. There’s a certain friend to whom I am indebted, for whenever I have such feelings, it’s just as if the Spirit moves him to reach out and include me in whatever he is doing that day. And that friend is the great Jeremy Schudde, who, ironically, rides a motorcycle. So I guess the moral of this is that bikers make the best friends.
A couple stories about how Schudde has, without knowing it, reached out to me when I most needed a friend. The first happened a couple years ago. I had in consecutive weeks: a friend’s farewell, work, and a nephew getting blessed that kept me away from our ward for three straight weeks. A couple days after I missed going to our ward for the third consecutive week, I just sighed to myself, and said, “You know what? I bet no one even noticed I was gone.” Well, less than an hour later, Schudde pulled up to my house, and said, “I haven’t seen you at church for a while. Every thing OK?” I said, “yup.” And then he said, “Let’s go to Arby’s.” And I’m always down for food. Anyhow, I was grateful that Schudde reached out to me, and I was grateful that my Heavenly Father blessed me with a friend who was watching out for me and making sure that I was walking the strait-and-narrow.
That’s what a true friend is: Someone who makes living the gospel easier.
Said Elder Jeffrey R. Holland: “Real friends share the gospel—the living of it and the loving of it. No stronger bond nor higher compliment can be given from one friend to another.”
Another insight comes from Elder Neal A. Maxwell: “Friends who would hold us back spiritually are not true friends at all.”
And to paraphrase President Wade W. Vest: “We should seek friends who help point us toward the temple.”
Those are some good standards for what a friend is. Taking those three quotes from Elder Holland, Elder Maxwell and President Vest, I think we could reduce those philosophies to this statement: “The Spirit should be able to abide with us when we are with our friends.” I think that’s a good standard. And if the Spirit can’t be with us when we are with our friends, well, then something needs to change. Again, friends should make living the gospel easier.
More recently, I really needed a friend because the friends I had spent the last eight months hanging out with—friends like the Finlinsons, Stanton and my friends from SUU—scattered when school ended. It was a bit of a shock to the system to so suddenly be left without those friends. I had nothing to do, and no one to hang out with. That first week was really discouraging. And, at the end of it, I went to Bishop Shepherd, and I said, “Bishop. I don’t where all my friends went.” And the bishop gave me some counsel, which I think is very wise, so I’ll share it with you in a minute, but he also gave me a blessing that I would find friends to hang out with. That blessing was answered. And who do you think answered it? My friend, Jeremy Schudde, who with us trademark inclusiveness began inviting me more and more to join him in whatever he was doing. That initial loneliness I felt dissipated quickly. And I’m very fortunate to have Jeremy as a friend.
By being so quick to be a friend, Jeremy is really fulfilling his baptismal covenant, part of which requires us to be “Willing to bear one another’s burdens, that they may be light; Yea, and are willing to mourn with those that mourn; yea, and comfort those that stand in need of comfort” (Mosiah 18:8-9) I am fortunate that the loneliness I experienced was short-lived. Not everyone is as lucky. Indeed, everyone, including the strongest among us, needs someone to reach out to them.
Another quote from Elder Wirthlin: President Gordon B. Hinckley has said that those who reach out to lift and serve others "will come to know a happiness . . . never known before. . . . Heaven knows there are so very, very, very many people in this world who need help. Oh, so very . . . many. Let's get the cankering, selfish attitude out of our lives, my brothers and sisters, and stand a little taller and reach a little higher in the service of others.”
Selfishness undercuts brotherhood. When we get overly focused on ourselves and our desires, we can miss out on another’s needs. Now, I promised you I would share with you the advise Bishop Shepherd gave me, when I went to talk to him about my friendlessness. And this was the advice: Serve others. In essence, Bishop Shepherd was encouraging me to be the kind of friend I wanted to have. I wanted to be reached out to. Bishop Shepherd was encouraging me to be the one reaching out. Said Elder Derek A. Cuthbert: "Fear of loneliness includes fear of not having anyone to talk to, or being without help in time of need. These fears can be conquered by reaching out and giving service to others, becoming outward-looking instead of inward-looking. In order to have a friend, we must be a friend."
Let me repeat that last line: "In order to have a friend, we must be a friend."
Essentially, Elder Cuthbert is saying many are waiting to have someone reach out to them. But Elder Cuthbert is also saying that instead of waiting for someone to reach out to us, we should reach out to them. I think there are many in this ward who need someone to reach out to them and to befriend them. That’s why … home teaching is so important. The most important thing a home teacher can be to his home teachees is to be their friend. In fact, I’d saying being called to be someone’s home teacher is a call to be someone’s friend. I really enjoy home teaching because of the people I get to meet, and the friends I’ve been fortunate enough to make. Some of the people I’ve home taught over the years have become my best friends. Home teaching is such a neat program because it really is that call to reach out and befriend.
I think that one of the biggest reasons people stay home on Sundays is that they don’t feel welcome at church; they don’t feel like anyone will notice them or talk to them or befriend them. For some, walking through those doors and into church may be a daunting task. That task could be made easier if they knew that, on the other side of those doors, is a friend. I think we would all be well-served if we each set a goal to reach out to someone at church, and each week, meet and befriend someone new. Likewise, we could say the same thing about our activities—where we have the chance to interact and to meet the people in the ward. I think the sum act of each of us resolving to befriend our fellow ward members could make a real difference. I was in a ward once where I’d go to church and come home and hardly talk to anyone. And, you know what, it was tough to go to church. And I was relieved when I was out of the ward and into a more-friendly ward.
But, you know, I shouldn’t throw a pity party for myself because I wasn’t reaching out in that ward either. And if I had, I probably would have had plenty of people talking to me. Of the things I read yesterday on reaching out, that seemed to be a common theme: Don’t complain about people not reaching out to you, if you’re not reaching out to them. Some examples:
Said Elaine L. Jack: “A lot of women speak to me about how lonely they are. … I generally suggest that they think about how many hands they have held in the last week. I don't presume that going from person to person in the spirit of service conquers all of our problems. But I know from my own experience that doing for others often puts life in a clearer perspective. It reminds us that our individual circumstances are not the only set of circumstances in the whole world or even in the dorm. Reaching out to someone else can help us shake loose some of our own inwardness. It can let us be part of the solution to problems, rather than the creation of them.”
And Said Elder Cuthbert: A few weeks ago, a brother complained to me, "When I was away on business recently, in another part of the country, I went to church and no one spoke to me. I felt very lonely, especially as I was so far from home." I paused and then asked, "How many people did you speak to?" At first he was a little annoyed, feeling I had not empathized, but then he smiled and said, "You're right, I did hold back instead of reaching out.”
Let’s return to the story of my friend, Rachael, who prayed for a friend—and her prayers were only answered when she became the friend who did the reaching out, when she became the friend she wanted to have.
In conclusion, I want to quote Joseph Smith and give you a couple examples from his life that demonstrates this principle: “It is a time-honored adage that love begets love. Let us pour forth love--show forth our kindness unto all mankind, and the Lord will reward us with everlasting increase; cast our bread upon the waters and we shall receive it after many days, increased to a hundredfold. Friendship is like Brother Turley in his blacksmith shop welding iron to iron; it unites the human family with its happy influence.” [Documentary History of the Church, 5:517]
The rest of my comments come from a talk by Ivan J. Barrett, a religion professor at BYU:
“The Savior, in his inspiring Sermon on the Mount, taught, "Ye have heard that it hath been said, Thou shalt love thy neighbor, and hate thine enemy. But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you; That ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven" (Matthew 5:4345). The Prophet Joseph Smith practiced this most difficult of all the Savior's teachings. …
“After being kidnapped by two sheriffs and brutally treated by them, his life constantly being threatened, the Prophet Joseph was rescued by his friends. Instead of his being escorted across the Mississippi River into Missouri, as the sheriffs intended to do, he was brought to Nauvoo. While in Nauvoo, the prophet took the two sheriffs to his home, placed them at the head of his table, and his wife waited on them as though they were the most honored guests that had ever graced her house. Joseph said, "I have brought these men to Nauvoo, not as prisoners in chains, but as prisoners of kindness. I have treated them kindly. I have had the privilege of returning them good for evil" (Documentary History of the Church, 5:467).
(You can see from this, that Joseph lived the Golden Rule.)
“…When the enemies of the Prophet Joseph were seeking his life during the Nauvoo period, the Prophet was forced to go into hiding, and on one occasion some of his friends visited him. After their departure he wrote, "How good and glorious it has seemed unto me to find pure and holy friends who are faithful, just, and true, and whose hearts fail them not and whose knees are confirmed and do not falter. These I have met in prosperity, and they were my friends, and now I meet them in adversity, and they are still my warmer friends" (Documentary History of the Church, 5:107). The Prophet Joseph sums up most impressively why they were his friends:
“Sectarian priests often asked concerning Joseph, "How can this babbler get so many followers around him and retain them?" The Prophet answered, "It's because I possess the principle of love. All I have to offer the world is a good heart and a good hand” (Teachings of the Prophet Joseph Smith, p. 313).
May we be the same kind of friend—and offer our friends a good heart and a good hand—and help them whenever they need help. In short, may we be the kind of friend we want to have.
I think there are so many who, at one time or another, face that same situation. I certainly have been blessed to know many days when I was surrounded by friends. But I have likewise endured days where I felt lonely and friendless and prayed, like Rachael prayed, that I would have a friend reach out to me. The Golden Rule, as taught by the Savior tells us: “All things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them” (3 Nephi 14:12, see also Matthew 7:12). Apply that to friendship, and we get this, The Golden Rule of Friendship: Be the kind of friend you want to have.
Of all the people who need to hear that message, I am probably the one who needs to hear it the most. I am one who enjoys being reached out to, but I hesitate to reach out to others.
Let me demonstrate this with a story. It was my first day at SUU last August. I felt very out of place. On the drive up, I quickly and effectively convinced myself that I wouldn’t make any friends there. As I drove into Cedar, I felt so inadequate. I felt so dumb. And I felt like no one would like me. I so convinced myself that I would flunk out of SUU in a matter of weeks, that I came up with a plan that would ensure none of my classmates would be able to remember my name once I flunked out. My plan was simple: I wouldn’t talk to anyone.
So I planned things just right. I arrived at the classroom just as the class started, and seated myself alone at a table, away from everyone. I was so relieved that no one was sitting by me. That relief lasted all of two minutes. That’s when a latecomer straggled in, walked over to my table, put his motorcycle helmet on the table and sat down.
I was really mad that this guy had invaded my space and cost me the buffer zone I had won through my cunning.
“Oh, great!” thought I, “now, I am stuck, sitting at the table with, of all people, a motorcycle rider.”
The class lasted three hours, and it goes on and on and on. But halfway through the class period, we take a 10-minute break. So, as soon as we take the break, I dart out into the hall and begin wandering aimlessly. I go to the drinking fountain. It was water unfit for a third-world country. It tasted like dirt. And I think it was dirt. So I wandered around mindlessly for a few minutes before I absent-mindedly tried to the drinking fountain again. Big mistake! I realized that if I didn’t sit down, I would keep drinking from the dirt. Not wanting to inhale a quart of dirt, I decided I should return to the room and sit down.
Well, the motorcycle rider was still there. I really didn’t want to talk to him because motorcycle riders always have ego issues. But I realized I now had no choice. So I introduced myself and we started talking. Long story short we became good friends; in fact, he became my best friend in the program, and I really have enjoyed working with him on numerous projects and presentations.
About six months after we first met, Robert, the motorcycle rider, and I were in a class where the professor sat the whole class in a circle. Then, we went around the circle, saying what we enjoyed or admired about the other people in the class. Eventually, it was Robert’s turn to say something nice to me. He listed off a few attributes, and then, he said, “The thing I remember about Steve is that first day of class. I was sitting there and I felt so inadequate. I felt so dumb. And I felt like no one would like me. But then Steve started talking to me and helped me to relax and realize that everything was going to be OK.”
In other words, the same anxieties I had that first day were the same anxieties Robert had. I had misjudged him. I had thought him to be some egomaniac biker, but really he is one of the nicest guys there is. And like me, he just needed someone that day to reach out to him.
And even though I still struggle to reach out to people, I am glad that on that one day, at least, I was the kind of friend I want to have.
Said Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin: “It's easy to find excuses for not reaching out to others, but I imagine they will sound as hollow to our Heavenly Father as the elementary school boy who gave his teacher a note asking that he be excused from school March 30th through the 34th.” One of things we can learn from my experience that Robert is that just because someone rides a motorcycle, it’s no reason for us to not be their friend.
I am so grateful for the friends who have reached out to me when I needed it most. Like most people, I don’t advertise when I’m feeling lonely. And like most people, I just hope and pray someone will reach out to me. There’s a certain friend to whom I am indebted, for whenever I have such feelings, it’s just as if the Spirit moves him to reach out and include me in whatever he is doing that day. And that friend is the great Jeremy Schudde, who, ironically, rides a motorcycle. So I guess the moral of this is that bikers make the best friends.
A couple stories about how Schudde has, without knowing it, reached out to me when I most needed a friend. The first happened a couple years ago. I had in consecutive weeks: a friend’s farewell, work, and a nephew getting blessed that kept me away from our ward for three straight weeks. A couple days after I missed going to our ward for the third consecutive week, I just sighed to myself, and said, “You know what? I bet no one even noticed I was gone.” Well, less than an hour later, Schudde pulled up to my house, and said, “I haven’t seen you at church for a while. Every thing OK?” I said, “yup.” And then he said, “Let’s go to Arby’s.” And I’m always down for food. Anyhow, I was grateful that Schudde reached out to me, and I was grateful that my Heavenly Father blessed me with a friend who was watching out for me and making sure that I was walking the strait-and-narrow.
That’s what a true friend is: Someone who makes living the gospel easier.
Said Elder Jeffrey R. Holland: “Real friends share the gospel—the living of it and the loving of it. No stronger bond nor higher compliment can be given from one friend to another.”
Another insight comes from Elder Neal A. Maxwell: “Friends who would hold us back spiritually are not true friends at all.”
And to paraphrase President Wade W. Vest: “We should seek friends who help point us toward the temple.”
Those are some good standards for what a friend is. Taking those three quotes from Elder Holland, Elder Maxwell and President Vest, I think we could reduce those philosophies to this statement: “The Spirit should be able to abide with us when we are with our friends.” I think that’s a good standard. And if the Spirit can’t be with us when we are with our friends, well, then something needs to change. Again, friends should make living the gospel easier.
More recently, I really needed a friend because the friends I had spent the last eight months hanging out with—friends like the Finlinsons, Stanton and my friends from SUU—scattered when school ended. It was a bit of a shock to the system to so suddenly be left without those friends. I had nothing to do, and no one to hang out with. That first week was really discouraging. And, at the end of it, I went to Bishop Shepherd, and I said, “Bishop. I don’t where all my friends went.” And the bishop gave me some counsel, which I think is very wise, so I’ll share it with you in a minute, but he also gave me a blessing that I would find friends to hang out with. That blessing was answered. And who do you think answered it? My friend, Jeremy Schudde, who with us trademark inclusiveness began inviting me more and more to join him in whatever he was doing. That initial loneliness I felt dissipated quickly. And I’m very fortunate to have Jeremy as a friend.
By being so quick to be a friend, Jeremy is really fulfilling his baptismal covenant, part of which requires us to be “Willing to bear one another’s burdens, that they may be light; Yea, and are willing to mourn with those that mourn; yea, and comfort those that stand in need of comfort” (Mosiah 18:8-9) I am fortunate that the loneliness I experienced was short-lived. Not everyone is as lucky. Indeed, everyone, including the strongest among us, needs someone to reach out to them.
Another quote from Elder Wirthlin: President Gordon B. Hinckley has said that those who reach out to lift and serve others "will come to know a happiness . . . never known before. . . . Heaven knows there are so very, very, very many people in this world who need help. Oh, so very . . . many. Let's get the cankering, selfish attitude out of our lives, my brothers and sisters, and stand a little taller and reach a little higher in the service of others.”
Selfishness undercuts brotherhood. When we get overly focused on ourselves and our desires, we can miss out on another’s needs. Now, I promised you I would share with you the advise Bishop Shepherd gave me, when I went to talk to him about my friendlessness. And this was the advice: Serve others. In essence, Bishop Shepherd was encouraging me to be the kind of friend I wanted to have. I wanted to be reached out to. Bishop Shepherd was encouraging me to be the one reaching out. Said Elder Derek A. Cuthbert: "Fear of loneliness includes fear of not having anyone to talk to, or being without help in time of need. These fears can be conquered by reaching out and giving service to others, becoming outward-looking instead of inward-looking. In order to have a friend, we must be a friend."
Let me repeat that last line: "In order to have a friend, we must be a friend."
Essentially, Elder Cuthbert is saying many are waiting to have someone reach out to them. But Elder Cuthbert is also saying that instead of waiting for someone to reach out to us, we should reach out to them. I think there are many in this ward who need someone to reach out to them and to befriend them. That’s why … home teaching is so important. The most important thing a home teacher can be to his home teachees is to be their friend. In fact, I’d saying being called to be someone’s home teacher is a call to be someone’s friend. I really enjoy home teaching because of the people I get to meet, and the friends I’ve been fortunate enough to make. Some of the people I’ve home taught over the years have become my best friends. Home teaching is such a neat program because it really is that call to reach out and befriend.
I think that one of the biggest reasons people stay home on Sundays is that they don’t feel welcome at church; they don’t feel like anyone will notice them or talk to them or befriend them. For some, walking through those doors and into church may be a daunting task. That task could be made easier if they knew that, on the other side of those doors, is a friend. I think we would all be well-served if we each set a goal to reach out to someone at church, and each week, meet and befriend someone new. Likewise, we could say the same thing about our activities—where we have the chance to interact and to meet the people in the ward. I think the sum act of each of us resolving to befriend our fellow ward members could make a real difference. I was in a ward once where I’d go to church and come home and hardly talk to anyone. And, you know what, it was tough to go to church. And I was relieved when I was out of the ward and into a more-friendly ward.
But, you know, I shouldn’t throw a pity party for myself because I wasn’t reaching out in that ward either. And if I had, I probably would have had plenty of people talking to me. Of the things I read yesterday on reaching out, that seemed to be a common theme: Don’t complain about people not reaching out to you, if you’re not reaching out to them. Some examples:
Said Elaine L. Jack: “A lot of women speak to me about how lonely they are. … I generally suggest that they think about how many hands they have held in the last week. I don't presume that going from person to person in the spirit of service conquers all of our problems. But I know from my own experience that doing for others often puts life in a clearer perspective. It reminds us that our individual circumstances are not the only set of circumstances in the whole world or even in the dorm. Reaching out to someone else can help us shake loose some of our own inwardness. It can let us be part of the solution to problems, rather than the creation of them.”
And Said Elder Cuthbert: A few weeks ago, a brother complained to me, "When I was away on business recently, in another part of the country, I went to church and no one spoke to me. I felt very lonely, especially as I was so far from home." I paused and then asked, "How many people did you speak to?" At first he was a little annoyed, feeling I had not empathized, but then he smiled and said, "You're right, I did hold back instead of reaching out.”
Let’s return to the story of my friend, Rachael, who prayed for a friend—and her prayers were only answered when she became the friend who did the reaching out, when she became the friend she wanted to have.
In conclusion, I want to quote Joseph Smith and give you a couple examples from his life that demonstrates this principle: “It is a time-honored adage that love begets love. Let us pour forth love--show forth our kindness unto all mankind, and the Lord will reward us with everlasting increase; cast our bread upon the waters and we shall receive it after many days, increased to a hundredfold. Friendship is like Brother Turley in his blacksmith shop welding iron to iron; it unites the human family with its happy influence.” [Documentary History of the Church, 5:517]
The rest of my comments come from a talk by Ivan J. Barrett, a religion professor at BYU:
“The Savior, in his inspiring Sermon on the Mount, taught, "Ye have heard that it hath been said, Thou shalt love thy neighbor, and hate thine enemy. But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you; That ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven" (Matthew 5:4345). The Prophet Joseph Smith practiced this most difficult of all the Savior's teachings. …
“After being kidnapped by two sheriffs and brutally treated by them, his life constantly being threatened, the Prophet Joseph was rescued by his friends. Instead of his being escorted across the Mississippi River into Missouri, as the sheriffs intended to do, he was brought to Nauvoo. While in Nauvoo, the prophet took the two sheriffs to his home, placed them at the head of his table, and his wife waited on them as though they were the most honored guests that had ever graced her house. Joseph said, "I have brought these men to Nauvoo, not as prisoners in chains, but as prisoners of kindness. I have treated them kindly. I have had the privilege of returning them good for evil" (Documentary History of the Church, 5:467).
(You can see from this, that Joseph lived the Golden Rule.)
“…When the enemies of the Prophet Joseph were seeking his life during the Nauvoo period, the Prophet was forced to go into hiding, and on one occasion some of his friends visited him. After their departure he wrote, "How good and glorious it has seemed unto me to find pure and holy friends who are faithful, just, and true, and whose hearts fail them not and whose knees are confirmed and do not falter. These I have met in prosperity, and they were my friends, and now I meet them in adversity, and they are still my warmer friends" (Documentary History of the Church, 5:107). The Prophet Joseph sums up most impressively why they were his friends:
“Sectarian priests often asked concerning Joseph, "How can this babbler get so many followers around him and retain them?" The Prophet answered, "It's because I possess the principle of love. All I have to offer the world is a good heart and a good hand” (Teachings of the Prophet Joseph Smith, p. 313).
May we be the same kind of friend—and offer our friends a good heart and a good hand—and help them whenever they need help. In short, may we be the kind of friend we want to have.
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