ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGHHHHH!!
The Discover Card company is raising my blood pressure to an unhealthy level. If I have a heart attack in the next two days, I'll hold you personally responsible. Just kidding.
But I am definitely far from pleased with Discover Card. I know you don't care, as my previous complaint to your company has gone unanswered.
Today, however, I will send my petition for a redress of grievances to your headquarters one last time. This time I hope I am heard. If not, then I will certainly warn my friends and readers (I am an oft-read columnist) to avoid Discover Card at all costs.
Let me recount my history with you.
Things had been rosy up until this Summer, when a mysterious charge for an item called AccountGuard began appearing on my bill. I called up to have this policy canceled and refunded because I had never signed up for this service. The conversation I had with your so-called customer service representative was like banging my head against a brick wall. Not only would she not entertain my legitimate complaint that I had never enrolled in this program, she kept trying to sell this unwanted insurance to me. I kept repeating my disinclination for the program, making clear how unwanted it was. It was until my voice was escalated and my temper borne raw that she finally acceded to my simple request and canceled the program. I felt it was an unnecessary experience for me that I had to navigate a rep's disinterest in my needs to protect my money.
Therefore, I wrote a letter of complaint to Discover Card.
Your company never replied. From this, I learned Discover Card just didn't care about me.
Even though I now knew I was in an uncommitted relationship, I soldiered on with your company, as my present financial circumstances didn't allow me to dump you.
Although I was in a loveless marriage with your company, I wasn't too bothered. The silence between us was actually quite lovely.
But, today, you decided to talk to me again. And, naturally, you sent your most vicious, nasty customer representative to come spit venom at me. The argument was, as it always is, about money--not the money I really owed, but the money you thought I owed through your creative accounting, designed to mug me for the most money possible.
This particular customer service witch called to complain that I had not payed the $40 minimum payment in August. The problem I had with this was that August's minimum payment was $30. Yes, she said. But Discover had just sent out September's bill with a $40 minimum payment.
But, wait, aren't we talking about August's payment?
Yes, but now $30 doesn't do.
What? But $30 was how much you asked for. It was how much I sent. You can't send me a bill for $30 and then get it, and, say, "Hey, we really wanted $40!"
She, in turn, told me if I didn't pay the extra $10, I would be charged with a late fee.
Charged with a late fee for paying the minimum payment on time? That is ridiculous! Absolutely ridiculous. What kind of extortion ring are you running.
If I had known your company could change the minimum payment requirements on me after I had made the minimum payment, I never would have signed up for your service.
Also, if I had know that the way you hire customer service representatives is to walk around the streets of New York City and find the most vitrolic, blood-spitting mean person you can, I never would have received a card from your company.
And if I had known that my letters of complaint would go unread by an unconcerned customer relations department, I'd never been associated with Discover Card. And had I known that my first attempt to write this letter would be deleted because your site thought I was taking too long, I would've kicked the wall.
This is one of the worst experiences I have ever had with a company. Even if I am not in a position to get a divorce right now, I assure you I will shortly--unless I see a real change in your company.
To keep me as your customer, you must do the following:
1-- Hire customer representatives who respect me and with whom I can have nice, respectable conversations. Fire those customer reps who berate, humiliate and refuse to listen to customers.
2-- Do not charge me for late fees when I have made the minimum payment.
3-- Let me pay this month's payment this month. Don't require me to pay September's bill in August.
4-- Don't charge me for things I've never signed up for.
5-- When I write a letter of complaint, at least be kind enough to respond. And if you do respond, please show me that my letter has at least been heard. I don't need what I write to be passed along to Dave Nelms, but I do need to show that my letter actually mattered to the company.
6-- Show me that you care. As of this moment, I am convinced that you do not.
I would like to point out that up until these two episodic nightmares, things had been pleasant with Discover Card. I'd like to return to those times. Please make it happen. And tell Nelmsy if he wants to read my letter, it will be on my Web site.
Sincerely,
Stephen Vincent
