Is there anything more disgusting than seeing a beautiful woman holding the hand of an ugly guy?
Actually, there are six things more disgusting, but I won't mention them here, except to say the phrase "President Hillary Clinton" is one of them.
But, yes, yes, yes, it is disgusting to see a feo muchacho holding the hand of a guapa muchacha! (Please forward all Spanish complaints to Stanton Roseman).
And here's why:
Because you see it, and you say, "Hey, that could have been me ... if only I would have beaten that guy to the punch." It's hard in those moments to keep the "thou shalt not covet" commandment, as one mutters under his breath, "Lucky stiff."
I saw this phenomenon on campus, just prior to the near bike crash (see below posting).
Stanton and I were discussing it on our way up to The Sun Room. I thought, at first, it might make a good article. "How Ugly Guys Attract Hot Women." It would definitely be more read than an article on, say, 527s and campaign finance law (that's a story only interesting to journalists who haven't been on a date in two years--in other words, me).
The problem, though, would come in interviewing people for the story.
"Um, excuse me, I'd like to know how you, a man uglier than Nevada, could be holding hands with this lovely female?"
I've learned from sad, sad experience that it is never wise to tell anyone that they're ugly. People don't enjoy hearing this, nor do they want it published and read by a mass audience.
This could be the cause for embarrassment.
"Hey, Edgar, I read in the paper that you're ugly."
So extracting the secrets of the Ugly Conquerors of the Heart will have to wait until a more tactful way to approach it can be done.
